White Tiger
by Atten Daith
Summary: Last in the series, A simple job turns into more than Mal and the crew count on while River faces angry mobs and jailbreaks, Imps and dragons, true love and ultimate loss on her path to the perfect tao, but weapons don’t stay weapons forever. Book 3
1. Prologue The Unexpected Gift

The Unexpected Gift

It sat in the middle of the galley table, round, tall and chocolate. This was not a protein facsimile of a cake, this was the real thing, three layer, cream in the middle, frosted on top chocolate cake. Simon and Kaylee had spent the whole morning baking it and were proud of two things. One they had remembered that River was a Gemini which, since humans had left Earth-that-was, had lost all meaning, and two River's favorite flavor was chocolate.

It was River's twentieth birthday and if not for Serenity's proximity alarm, they would probably be eating the cake at that moment. As it was, the captain was on the bridge, matching the derelict yacht's rotation, Zoe was preparing the enviro-suits, Kaylee was routing the main Atmo feed to the air lock, Simon was in his infirmary hoping there were survivors and River was at the air lock controls.

As the two ships engaged, River looked through the airlock window as she maneuvered the core guide into place. She pulled it up and cinched it in. Pushing her white hair from her eyes she pressed the Atmo activate and settled in to wait. In a few minutes the captain would be down with Zoe to search the derelict for valuables and survivors.

The girl stared at Serenity's relatively empty hold as she waited. The cold of the airlock door pressed against her back and she remembered her sweater was still hanging on the back of a chair in the galley, in front of a chocolate cake, candles waiting to be lit, plates waiting to be filled, life waiting to go on. In point of fact, River didn't like were so many things to do, so many new things to learn.

A strand of white hair fell back across her eyes and she brushed it away. At twenty she was too young for hair with no color. She felt it made her look far too ghost-like and scary and unapproachable, but it was hers now and she had decided to accept it the way it was. That's why she was called Tiger by Mal's associates. She was the white tiger, small and quiet but dangerous. She was like Serenity, incongruous, but somehow - right.

The large open hold was dotted with a few crates here and there. Not enough to make ends meet. That was why they had interupted their small party to pick the bones of the poor derelict yacht. River tried to imagine the crates as wrapped boxes, each with a bow of large ribbon holding some unexpected gift, a surprise for her to discover. She smiled.

Chish – whoosh.

River looked up confused. It sounded like the airlock had opened but it was still closed. She looked around the cargo bay. It was empty. Mal and Zoe were still on the upper deck collecting the Enviro-suites, her brother at the back of the ship and Kaylee in the engine room. She was alone. River stood and looked through the window to find the airlock on the other side open. That's when her world went all sideways. Sitting in the middle of the yacht's cargo hold was a young dark-haired girl. She sat cross-legged in the lotus position and seemed to be meditating. It couldn't be, River was looking at herself sitting on the yacht.

River stared open mouthed at the apparitionon the other side of the short causeway, her head tipped slightly to one side, her white hair cascading over her shoulders. The dark haired girl opened her eyes and looked directly into her River's, beckoning her with a smile to join her. River smiled back at the vision of herself and released the door lock. She opened the airlock with the same rush of air and drifted on the breeze through the now open door. But the dark-haired girl was gone, suddenly replaced by a sharp pain to the back of her head and a sound distinctly like a smashed gourd. All went black.

.-

River's body was carried back into Serenity's hold by two men dressed all in black and holding automatic weapons. Dropping her limp form to the deck, her white hair stained red with blood in the back, they proceeded into the ship methodically hunting the others onboard. The two moved with precision and expert training, their black masked faces only revealing sharp cold blue eyes. They didn't speak a word, communicating almost telepathically with hand motions and head nods.

Simon and Kaylee were easy, both subdued without a sound. They never saw it coming. Once they were bound and gagged, Zoe and Mal weren't that much harder. Both were caught, helmets in hand and weapons unattended. They could see there was no point in fighting this ambush. They had bit on the bait and now it was time to pay the price.

All four were dragged to the hold, bound and blindfolded, where they were joined by the yacht's owner.

RaaaaaaoooooOOOOOO – pish - tha. RaaaaaaooooOOOOOO – pish - tha.

The rhythmic rasp of the old man's concentrator invaded the normally calming whooshes, hums, beeps and clicks of Serenity's ambient background noises. The whir of the electric motors on his wheel-chair whined as it sped by the motionless body of her former pilot. Adelei Niska shook his head as he approached the captain Malcolm Reynolds, who was kneeling under the load control platform at the back of the hold with his hands tied over his head, suspended from the platform's meshing. He pulled away the blindfold with a broad smile.

"And so we are meeting again Captain Reynolds." The old man greeted him. "As you can see, I have had to make some adjustments in my life."

Reynolds coughed, bleeding from the corner of his mouth. His shirt was missing, his sides were bruised and his eyes swollen, as he had been pre-tenderized for the old man. River lay sprawled and motionless on the deck at the other end of the hold behind the two special-forces mercenaries that had captured them. The hair on the back of her head was stained bright red against her white mane. Her eyes were closed, her face expresionless, pressed to the ground as her mouth hung open. For all his pain, Mal figured he had gotten the better end of the deal – so far.

He looked to his left at the remainder of his crew, bound and gagged in the corner and was glad that they couldn't see River from their perspective. That was by design, Mal figured. Niska was always one for dramatic impacts, presenting a man with a conflict and reveling in his response. Things were not looking good. Mal had to figure a way to negotiate their freedom, before they ended up like River. He felt a twinge in his heart. It must have shown in his face.

"Don't worry Captain, I do not wish to spend long time here today. I am having Wedding shower to attend so understand if I am kill you all quickly.

"I wouldn't mind hearing more about this wedding of yours."

The old man turned his Cerilian knife in his hand, letting the light from the overhead glint off the edges. "Oh, this is nothing. Another sensitive one for my oldest daughter. I am never hearing end from last one. They're no good for business." He added.

"Maybe you just have to broaden our your perspective a little." Mal suggested. "There is room in life for – more than just business. Let bygones be bygones. Live and let live? I'm sure he's a really nice man."

"Now you are sounding like Wife." Niska brushed it off. "Sergey, you can go plan our route to Londinium. Don't forget I am needing flowers. Dimitry, be good as to go get tools would you? It is time to play."

.

.-

The bright light stirred River slowly. Her head pounded, pulse throbbing in her temples as she laid face flat on the hard white nothing. Voices echoed in the distance, beckoning her to move, pulling at her mind, wanting her to follow. She struggled to sit up. Her rubber arms ached and her feeble legs lay listlessly under her.

She strained her eyes to focus through slotted lids. A mist floated all around her, damp and cold. Chen Di Tao Xu. River had been here before and she didn't like it here. She wanted to go back home, back to Serenity. She needed to go back. The place of nothing wasn't where she belonged.

The girl wore a gossamer white gown that clung to her body, wet from the mist. It was clammy and uncomfortable and stuck to her like a loose skin. It would have been revealing of all that was underneath, if her alabaster skin and pale pink features were not so closely matched to the thin ivory cover. She felt thin, like the gossamer that covered her, thin and transparent, almost nonexistent. Her white hair hung limp and damp, clinging to her face and neck and shoulders.

Struggling to her feet she made her way slowly toward the echoing voices. Her arms clenched on either side of her head as she walked, a line of red trickled down each forearm and dripped from her elbows. Her head felt as if it were literally splitting apart and she needed to hold it together to prevent her mind from spilling out and drifting away on the swirling mist.

She staggered toward the muffled tones, struggling to keep herself together, to stay River and not become the mist. Slowly the form of another girl appeared in the fog, sitting silently on the white ground, relaxing cross-legged. Her brightly colored sundress popped out in the fog like a beacon. River approached the girl warily. The other just looked up and smiled as she became clear.

"Tiger plays the game, but she doesn't like the rules. The dark-haired form of River teased.

"I need to get back." White-haired River said. "I let them in. I didn't mean to let them in."

"No Tiger." Black-haired River stood and drew twin swords from her back, barring her way. The blades were pretty, but long and sharp. They were hers. "I have to go back, Tiger, not you. You need to stay here now."

"But I let them in. I have to make them go."

"It is my turn to go back. You don't belong anymore. It is my turn to control again."

"No. I have to make it right."

"You can't do it. I won't let you do it."

"No!" Her head reacted with a throb to her exclamation but she continued. "You are me, I am River."

"I'm the part of River they need now. You have to stay."

"But I don't want to stay, I'm not in pieces, I am whole."

"We will never be whole." Dark River shouted in anger as she cut Tiger across the chest with a swift slice of her blade.

White-haired River staggered back, clenching her hands to her chest. Small red trickles leaked out from between her fingers as she slumped back against the emptiness behind her.

River moved in quickly, ready to strike. A salty taste came to her mouth, the smell of old eggs, and the white around her suddenly took on a purple tinge in her fury. Then black-haired River suddenly stopped and gasped. A line of red traced across her own chest, just above the top of her sundress, just where she had cut Tiger. A look of shock filled her.

"River plays the game, but she can't change the rules." Tiger smiled at her shocked self. "No, she can't."

River cried out as Tiger hugged her close, chest to chest, wound to wound and they bled out into each other. The two collapsed together to the nothingness below them and faded into the white mist.

.

.-

Dimitry poked at River's body as he passed by, missing the almost imperceptibletwitch, and proceeded though the air lock and along the connection between the two craft. He would be back shortly with his bosses tools. The whir of Niska's chair dominated all the other sounds except the 'RaaaaaaooooOOOOOO – pish – tha' of his condenser and the occasional scream as he cut the captain in a non-vital, yet painful place. The old man's voice tugged at River, pulling her the last few light years into consciousness, as her eyes flickered open and the misty fog disappeared.

Behind her, in the airlock Dimitry had just exited, the dark-haired girl poked her head through the door and laughed.

"River is back. Ha ha – it is too late now." She giggled. "Silly old man, he plays the game – but he doesn't know the rules."

Niska dropped the shinny blade on top of a nearby crate and quickly fetched the gun from inside his chair. Wheeling the chair around, he aimed toward the capricious voice, catching only a glimpse of the girl as she slip into the corridor heading toward his ship.

"Dimitry" The old man barked into his com unit. "You missed one. She is headed to you. Stop her." Niska looked into Mal's face with slight annoyance. "I will be back to finish our conversation Captain, it has been – enjoyable. Would be shame not to finish."

"Take your time." Mal replied sincerely, cringing with pain.

Niska powered his motorized throne across the cargo hold, again shaking his head as he passed the lifeless body at the end. He must have seen River as a missed opportunity, a chance to learn something that could not be recovered. Raising his gun to the front, he sped on through the air lock door and proceeded down the connecting corridor after the darkhaired apparition.

To Mal's surprise River stirred. She struggled slowly to her feet, using the lock control panel for support. The effort it took was evident as she teetered on the brink of collapse. She hit the emergency close button. Carefully entering the override codes through the fog of her light headed vertigo she hit the final confirmation just as the old man was realizing what was happening.

Niska's remains were jettisoned though the open gap between the vessels, closely followed by Dimitry's. Sergey didn't have a chance, even with the emergency shut control enabled. Their vessel did not have the volume to afford him enough time. His heart popped and his eyes burst, falling back dead at the yacht's control console. The emergency controls merely saved the remainder of the vessel for the next scavenger to come along.

The rich yacht drifted slowly away from Serenity, propelled by the sudden expulsion of gas and material. It was now just another piece of space junk, inert floating material. Like Niska and Dimitry.

"River?" Mal coughed out her name, breaking the silence.

River turned slowly, tipped her head and looked at Mal as if he were a foreign object. Her eyes stared past him, seeming to focus on the nothing behind him.

"River - stay with me..."

She stumbled from the airlock controlls and slumped against the nearest crate. The bloody girl staggered from crate to crate, stopping to recover her wits every other crate and refocus her fading brown eyes. With her last effort she grabbed the Cerilian blade, slashed Mal's bindings and collapsed in his arms.

.

.-

The bright white of the infirmary lights blanched out nearly everything from the girl's view, just like Chen Di Tao Xu, except for the fork heaped with moist and gooeychocolate. River smiled weakly and opened her mouth eagerly. Simon fed River another bite of cake, as she lay on the infirmary bed. Her head was wrapped in white bandages and her arms each sporting its own tube, one red and one clear. Mal looked down at her, with concerned, through still puffy eyes. Kaylee was hanging on Simon's arm and Zoe was just coming into the room.

"Did I miss the cake?" Zoe asked, as cheerfully as she could manage.

"No." River croaked. "There is still plenty."

"Me and Simon made it special, for you River." Kaylee said, somewhat sadly. "We wanted today to be a special day for you."

"Sorry, we didn't have any other present to give you." Simon added.

Mal turned to his first officer with a look of concern that he hid from his young pilot.

"We all set?" He asked Zoe.

"All keyed and under way." Zoe replied. "Should be at Ariel in two hours." Then she paused. "Could be trouble there."

"Can't be helped."

"Captain?" The convalescing pilot mumbled in a tired whisper."I don't think I'll take my shift today." Then River closed her eyes.

"Don't you fret over that." The captain replied. "You just get better."

"But I am better." She whispered. "I am whole."


	2. Chapter 1 Harvest

Chapter one - Harvest

The stars froze into a set pattern as main propulsion shut down and the cargo ship drifted toward its designated entry point. Harvest's rock of a moon grew bigger in the windscreen of Serenity's bridge, letting its pilot know that their journey was nearly complete. There calculations had been accurate and the craft slid harmlessly by the oversized asteroid as it proceeded silently toward their next burn point.

The pilot, an average height young woman of fair skin and slight build, made some final corrections, strapped her white hair into a quick bun and sat back in her chair. The hard part was still to come, but she could relax for now. Still, she was excited to be back at Harvest, for more reasons than one.

Harvest was a relatively small and fertile planet close enough in the first spiral arm to be considered a border planet, but not close enough to be heavily trafficked or crowded, like a core planet. River Tam preferred to stay away from crowds, if she could. They made her feel edgy. But there was more to Harvest than just space, there was the new Companion School that Inara Serra was building.

This Guild approved academy offered a safe haven for Serenity to port where few would question its presence and many would welcome its crew. Although there was no formal connection between the Academy and Serenity, as its Director Inara Serra and the captain Malcolm Reynolds did not have an official marriage per se, it was common knowledge that the small freighter had a preference for Harvest as a port.

Harvest had many redeeming features. In particular, it lacked any official Alliance oversight, as yet, which was fine with the captain. It was also a convenient base of operations for River to further her private studies and experiments. Experiments that she preferred to keep to herself, experiments that might make her normal again.

She generally conducted these experiments in the privacy of the bridge, however, of late it had been less conducive to her needs and she was looking for an alternative. The voices down the hall were growing closer, also signaling an end to the silent solitude that River found necessary for her studies. Still she had a minute or so to finish her work.

_Bit stream 11011011011111._ River was trying to concentrate over the conversation that had just invaded her quiet space. _Not bitter_.

"So I'm not sure what the problem is here, Kaylee." The captain asked.

_101110000. _She pressed her mind to say on point._ Not gummy._

"He's just not himself, is all I'm sayin." The woman replied, wiping a smudge of grease off of her forehead with her wrist.

_01010101010101010101010101_. She bit her lip and squinted hard. _Not – not, agh. Not magenta._

"And this is a bad thing because?" Mal continued leadingly.

"Well – cause it means something's wrong?"

"Giggle!" River screamed at the top of her lungs, then she added in a soft tone. "Don't kill."

Kaylee stood shocked, not exactly knowing how to respond to the outburst. Mal had become used to the impromptu non-sequiturs of recent, but never ceased to be curious.

"O-Kay then." Mal finally said after and awkward moment.

"Why is everybody so loud?" River's fingers were arched in frustration, her eyes wide and her body tense. "Why does it always have to be so loud?" River stood and stormed off the bridge.

"You got any idea?"

"No Cap'n."

"Well, we'll be in Harvest in another forty minutes." Mal said matter-of-factly, getting back to their conversation. "See Kaylee, I ain't your therapist – I'm your Captain and you're the engineer. That means I tell you where and when to make the ship go - and you make it go there. I'm sure Inara won't mind helping you out with your Doctor problems when we get landside."

"But Cap'n, something's wrong and I …"

"Kaylee. Engine room."

"Yes Cap'n." Kaylee capitulated, as she walked back to the engine room. She looked more worried than upset, but Mal knew it would all be fixed in a few days or just blow over like so many things do.

Mal stood for a moment, crossed his arms and looked out the window. He watched Rock (Harvest's moon) slip by and surveyed their approach to the entry window. Then he looked at the empty pilot's chair, followed by the empty copilot's chair.

"Who's flying my gorram ship?"

.

.-

Zoe looked down Serenity's cargo ramp down right pleased to see Jayne at the bottom. She walked down the ramp to the temporary porting facilities and exchanged the typical warriors half hug, half slap on the back, as they met.

"It's good to see you Jayne."

"Likewise Zoe." Jayne replied, then quietly to her ear. "You gotta get me off this rock, I'm goin stir crazy."

"Jayne!" Zoe replied in false shock. "I thought you like it here at Inara's Ranch.

"Don't get me wrong." The big man continued. "Working at a whore house is – well interesting. The women is fine and more than one is always a hoot, but there's forty of'm here and I can't touch a one."

Zoe just shook her head and smiled. Jayne's outlook on life had always been a mystery to her. It was so – basic, or perhaps more accurately – base. This had to be some kind of perverse cosmic payback.

"And some of'm practice their wiles on me just for fun, but that's all it is, they're just playin. It just ain't fare."

"Well." Zoe smiled again. 'Turns out Captain and I are looking for someone like you on this trip, that is if the Boss can do without you for a few days."

"Won't be a problem. The most threatening thing here is the cows. Pao li sheng wu are ugly as sin, and you best watch their back-ends." He added. "Very dangerous."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Say - where is Mal, anyway?" The man called loudly as he limped up the ramp. River jogged up to Jayne, gave him a kiss on the cheek and ran down the ramp toward the school. "Guess she missed me. Mal ! I got a bone to pick with you!"

.

.-

River stopped running when she got to the construction area, a few hundred yards from Serenity. From there she walked toward the half built compound enjoying the warmth of the late afternoon sun and the freshness of the southern breeze. The mile walk from the temporary port to the few completed buildings, at the center of the compound, was pleasant enough without the distracting views. But she had found, just recently, that half clad young men, with large muscles and fair faces were even more pleasant to look at. She had made this new discovery on their last trip to Harvest and she was eager to continue her study of this fresh phenomenon. It did, however, make the relatively short walk into a rather long affair.

This of course, was not her only concern today, but a side benefit. She needed to go to the library office, to pick up some new publications, and she needed to see Inara. The half naked guy watching was purely a recreational warm-up to some more serious work. Nonetheless it was one she was willing to take her time doing.

Most of the time, a crowd of young men like these would be putting on their macho for a young woman such as River, however, her bright white hair and her reputation keep the lot of them quite subdued and focused on their work. They called her the White Tiger and they knew better than to mess with anything as unpredictable and dangerous as that. It only perturbed her a bit that they would treat her so differently that other woman her age, because the behavioral study of the differences was so invaluable to her work. She would have more time to observe them from a distance - later.

Mental reprogramming, her current endeavor, was a science that River was not expertly trained in, but she had read a few papers and dissertations of late in her spare time. Getting hold of these materials was no easy trick out in the boarder planets, but River managed. Since Inara set up shop on Harvest, the mechanics of finding new material and getting her hands on it, had gotten quite a bit easier. The Harvest Companion School was the perfect place for this kind of psychobabble, and offered a base where few would ask her prying questions about what she was up to.

One common theme she'd found in all of these writings was that behavior was not removed, but modified, replaced by other behavior. Her early experiments with small things taught her that she needed to replace her behaviors with other behaviors that carried stronger emotions than those they were initially programmed with. Sometimes this could be hard to fathom, as the scientists at the Alliance Academy that programmed her initially had hook some fairly strong behaviors to some trivial emotions, while others, baseline behaviors, were tie to stronger ones.

For instance, the behavior to make a 'kill strike' was tied into salty taste, green and spoiled egg smell and summed up with a binary bit stream trigger. That one was not hard to replace, even with all the noise on the bridge. Now these random things together only make her giggle when triggered. On the other hand, protective behaviors like stealth, hiding, escape techniques were tied into more deeply rooted emotions and memories that were hard enough to identify, much less modify.

One behavior, more important to her than any other, would require more time and concentration than any of the others. She had been working on it for months and getting nowhere. That is why she was visiting Inara today. Inara had something she needed.

.

.-

Mal had been holding Nathan since he'd gotten to the compound two hours earlier. Inara swore they were somehow physically attached, but it made the both of them happy, so she didn't mind. Nathan never stopped asking Mal about his adventures into the Rim and the Core, or bugging River to explain how this or that worked, when she was around. Today both were there, which made the four year old pretty near manic.

Being on the border made the Harvest location very good for the Guild, but it also made it good for Mal, Inara and Nathan. Not too close as to restrict Mal's business and not to far for him to come visit. And Inara gave him ample reason to visit, both business and personal.

Still she worried about the incessant stories and the effect that the might have on her young son's mind. River said Mal was training him to be a pirate. Inara just worried about the wanderlust.

"Are there really Dragons on Liann Jiun" Nathan asked.

"Yes, there surely are."

"Big enough to eat a man?" Nathan looked wide-eyed and nervously. "… like you."

"No, Imp." River answered irritably, on her way to the door. River had finally saturated on the never-ending litany of questions. She'd gotten what she needed, without anyone giving even a glancing thought and now she wanted to get back to the construction sight before the sunset ruined the view.

"But big enough to swallow you up whole." She added.

"River!" Inara scolded, a look of disapproval clouding her perfectly proportioned face and almond eyes.

"Well you don't want him running off to see for himself do you?" River defended as she trotted out the door.

"How come Tiger keeps calling me Imp?" Nathan asked.

'Well maybe because you are one, to her anyways." Mal was always honest to Nathan, except when he was lying, of course.

"Why?"

"Well you follow her around and keep asking her 'why' for everything."

"I do nawt." Nathan complained."

"Yes you do." Inara laughed.

Nathan could never argue the truth with Inara. She had a way of looking at him that shamed him into submission. She had the same effect of Mal, sometimes.

"Now its time for your nap." She ordered, as she sat gracefully next to Mal and kissed the boy on the forehead. "Mei lee, would you take Nathan?"

"Yes." The trainee answered with a slight bow. "Come little one."

Mei Lee separated the conjoined and, carrying the smaller away, left Mal to discuss plans with her mentor.

'So when will you be leaving?" Inara looked at Mal almost hoping he would reconsider going at all. They hadn't even managed a night together this time.

"Six to eight hour. Don't need to be too precise since we aren't using the gate. Should break void sometime - day after tomorrow. I'll send a wave back to you then, just to touch base."

"Mal, you sound almost responsible."

"Well, there's no call for side trips on this one, so I thought I'd go easy on you."

"And I appreciate that." Inara smiled. "Now remember that the marble and the shrine are already…"

"Paid for – I know." Mal completed. "So, tell me again what the little fat man has to do with training young women in the ways of the flesh?"

"It's not all about sex." Inara defended. "It's about comfort and harmony."

"Is that what they're calling it now?"

"Mal stop." Inara smiled sweetly. "I'm not going to miss you any less just because I'm mad at you. So we don't have to play this game."

"Well then." He capitulated. He didn't want her to think that she could figure him out so easily, but he had to throw her a bone once in a while. "Yours is a pick-up and drop-off. It shouldn't take long."

"Mine?"

"Yeah - I'm moving some water vaprators to Whitefall." Mal reminded. "Did you forget?"

"No, but I was hoping that you had." Inara looked worried. "Mal, I don't like that place. Whitefall has always been trouble."

"It's not so bad – since Patience passed." Mal cajoled "Anyway I got the space and they need the vaperators."

"Well don't let those things damage my shrine or my marble."

Zoe came to the door behind them. She was looking impatient, or more so than normal.

"Time to go, Sir. We got packing to do."

"You take care of him, Zoe." Inara demanded.

"As always."

"What makes you think I need lookin after?" Mal asked.

"Your son!" Inara countered.

Mal could never argue with the truth when confronted with it, and Inara was getting that look. If he didn't want a wrench in the works, it was time for him to leave. Zoe followed him out of the building and asked, as they descended the front stair.

"Inara know about the vaperators, Sir?"

"More or less."

"She know where we're getting them?"

"She never did ask."


	3. Chapter 2 Quiet

Chapter two - Quiet

Serenity took off into a dark, star filled sky, bidding Harvest farewell with a light show that many of the local farm folk gathered to watch. Mal insisted on doing this liftoff alone. He said he could use the time to figure some things and do some new calculations. River didn't mind the opportunity to try some new techniques she'd just read about in her new journal and left the bridge to the captain.

The woman lay on her back in the middle of Inara's vacant shuttle, staring at the ceiling. The candlelight was dim and the incense burning. It was warm, comforting, but most of all – it was quiet. The mood was perfect for her latest reprogramming sessions, which was why she stolen the key in the first place.

This new method was offbeat and the others might not understand. She needed a place where she could be assuredly alone. She could sit around stark naked in Inara's shuttle, which on occasion she was want to do, and no one would mind at all. This was the perfect place.

River was twenty-three years old now and was in control of nearly everything in her life except one thing. Yes, she stayed away from the mental cacophony of crowded places. They still played holy havoc with her mind, having to block out that many extraneous thoughts. And yes, like Jayne, she did enjoy a good brawl now and then, and really who doesn't. But she was for the most part past all her childhood indiscretions and ready to get on with her life. Her brother Simon needed to do the same. But the words – it was the words that was kept them both hostages of the past.

The Academy had programmed her to be a human weapon but also programmed a safe word, or set of words in this case, to turn her off if she should lose control. It turned out that it was more for their control than her safety all along.

She needed the safe words removed for her continued security, as much as the others believed they needed it to stay for theirs. Her run-in with Donovan, a few years back, had proven that to her. No matter how many Psionic tricks she learned, she would always be vulnerable to these words.

It was important to her that she no longer be at the mercy of a few random sounds. She was willing to try just about anything to rid herself of it. No other one thing was more important to her than removing her mental 'off switch' that the Academy had put there. The last piece of outside control that was held over her. Her last vestige of childhood.

For as strong a baseline behavior as this was, a great deal of time and a strong emotion would be needed to break it. So, River had devoted the last few years to the study of behavior and retraining her brain. She knew 'normal' was out of the question, but she could at least seem somewhat normal to others.

This, for some reason she could not explain, was becoming more important to her. It was more of a feeling than a thought, and it came on her mainly when they were around young, shirtless, sweaty workers, which on the face of it she understood, but still seemed odd to her.

River didn't really understand sexual tension, or her growing sexuality. She had been confined by circumstance for too long. But within the small confines of Serenity she had watched Wash and Zoe, Mal and Inara and her brother with Kaylee. She knew sex, or love, or lust, or what ever you wanted to label it was a strong emotion and a stronger physiological drive. It was a feeling she could work with. An emotion strong enough maybe to break the curse of the words that bound her. The words held both River and Simon Tam in their subliminal grasp.

"Okay River." She said to herself. "Lets do this." And so she started, as she thought.

_Eta. Not quiet. Eta. Not soft. Eta. Not green, not Cumin. Eta - savory, red, tingly._

She exhaled long and slow, closed her eyes and rolled her head methodically in circles on the pillow as she lay.

_Kooram. Not warm. Kooram. Not dark, not heavy._

She pressed her hands to her chi center, just below her belly, and mimicking the slow circular motion of the head. The hem of her dress tickled at her thighs as it slowly rode up her legs. With each motion, each stroke it rose closer to her hip. Cupping hands, her fingers pressed firmly as she probed with them lower, below her chi center. She slipped them under the hem, into her shorts and rubbed slowly, genlty. Her mind chanted.

_Kooram. Strong – hard. Kooram. Spice._

She took her breath as slowly as she had let it go.

_Koroam – flicking, moist, sweaty and wet and_ "ahh."

River told herself this was all part of the reprogramming, but there was a deeper feeling, down in the core of her belly, by her center, by her chi. It was a sensation stronger than intellect driving her and if she told herself any differently, then she was lying to herself.

"Mmm." _Nah, not lilac, not uh not … not_.

She pressed down lower with both hands, deeper, steadily rolling small circles, pulling her knees up, arched her back, her neck and…

"Ohh." _Nah, Nah, What ever this is … Nah. _

She continued for how long she could not tell. Her whole body pulsed with each heartbeat, throbbing with each stroke, welling up into an intense ball of pleasure.

The feeling climaxed and her feet fell back to cushions beneath. Her arms and legs flopped open in a rush of total relaxation, as her breath let out slowly, evenly, the last word escaped.

_Smech_. "Mmm."

She took in a deep cleansing breath and let it go.

"Eta Kooram Nah Smech." She spoke the words out loud.

A shiver ran through her body. A deep, tantalizing, erotic shiver. But her eyes remained open.

"Mmmm. Still awake." She sighed. "wheew."

The methods were questionable for sure and she may have been lying to herself about her reasons for trying it, but there was no doubt, it had worked.


	4. Chapter 3 The Mouse

Chapter Three – The Mouse

Santo was a planet that held a special place in Mal's heart. Any time he needed to vent a little frustration, beat up on a Unification zealot, or a narrow-minded pee brain, or some such, he chose Santo as his destination. There was no shortage of morons, imbeciles and idiots resident on that rock.

He also had no problem stealing what he wanted from these people and selling it to those that needed elsewhere. Such ethical dilemma never seemed to present themselves on Santo. He simply swapped the value of what he stole off against what was lost by the independence during the war. Somehow he never broke even on that deal.

"How many vaporaters are there, Sir?" Zoe asked, pouring a cup of coffee and sitting at the galley table.

"Eight to ten according to Thad." Mal answered. "Most in good working condition. I figure we have enough space for three or four in the hold. We can take the best three. I figure that is fair."

"Wouldn't want to leave them stranded." Simon commented sarcastically.

"Kaylee, you sure that mouse hiding back there ain't a coon?" Jayne said pulling up a chair and setting down his plate. He nodded his head back toward the engine room as he sat. "I swear it took off with my whole breakfast this morning."

"Naw, it's a cute lil thing." Kaylee defended the little wild pet they'd picked up on some planet they visited in the passed year. "I seen it plain as day."

"Mule can only take one at a time." Mal continued, trying to get them to focus on the crime at hand by talking a little louder. "So maybe we can only snatch two or three, if we have a good distraction."

"How long, Sir?" Zoe asked.

"Can't see us moving more than one an hour. If I can distract them for three hours, I'd be lucky."

River's eyes were glinting with all the possibilities. Her mood was unusually chipper. This was perhaps the most fun she'd had, or might have, or even could have, in the better part of a year.

"Zoe, you and Jayne take the mule to the depot. The vaporaters are out back. Jayne? You sure your leg will hold up."

"For the kind of coin we're gonna pull – damn straight."

"Kaylee, you got the cargo bay." Mal continued. "You know where to put them?"

"Yes Cap'n."

"Doc? You got what you need?"

"It will be just like old times." He seemed to deliver these lines disapprovingly, but it was so hard to tell with Simon.

"River, you have the bridge."

"Captain?" River interjected. "Why don't you go with Jayne and Zoe? Let me create the distraction. I'm good at that."

Kaylee smiled. It was like watching a butterfly break for her cocoon. Another young woman breaking out of the bonds of society and into a life of crime. Plus it would give her alone time with Simon. That's what Inara told her they needed. Time to talk out whatever was bothering him.

"River, you don't have to get involved with …"

"Simon, stop worrying about how it is going to look on your vita." River retorted. "We're out on the fringe here – not on a job interview."

Mal looked at her with a combination of surprise and pride. "You think you can do this?"

"I know I can." She assured. "and with the three of you, you can move the merchandize easier and quicker, probably even squeeze in all four."

"River?" Simon started in his normal lecturing tone.

"Simon." She cut him off. "I'm not a baby anymore. I can make my own decisions."

"Shen yuan gu, (For God sake) Simon. She's a grown woman." Kaylee said, a slight edge to her voice. _She's got wants._ She thought. _She's got needs._

River smiled at Kaylee.

"Okay, okay." He sounded skeptical. "It's your life."

"Shiny." Mal said, sealing the deal. "We should be there in about an hour and maybe a half. "I'll take the bridge until then, everyone else rest up. It's going to be a fast three hours."

.

.-

River again sat on the cushion back in Inara's shuttle, relaxing cross-legged, her white hair falling over her bare shoulders, down her exposed back and over her bare breasts. Unlike most of the ship, which tended to be cold, the air here was warm against her skin. She let her arms stretch down to her knees and let her breath out slowly, turning her palms up to the ceiling.

_Relax_.

She felt freer than she had ever felt, in as long as she could remember. Content. Her pattern fit into the rhythm of Serenity around her, its beat, its pattern.

_Breathe_.

All one, all together, all... _Hungry_.

Her eyes shot open. That was out of place. Looking down at her belly she wondered. _It doesn't feel hungry_.

She tried again, letting her chest fall and filling her center as she breathed in. Taking the air directly into her chi, she relaxed again, feeling its power fill her.

_I'm hungry._

She knew that thought.

"Imp?"

"I'm hungry." The small boy's voice came from behind her. He peeked out from behind the satin drapes that hung in the shuttle's back corner.

"What are you doing here!" River exclaimed, snatching her dress from the floor and pulling it over her head. "How long have you been here?"

"Since last night." The boy answered. "What was Tiger doing?"

"Meditating."

"Last night?"

"Nothing!" River face turned noticeably red as took the boy by the hand. The fact that the boy had been watching her while she – well it flustered her completely. "We have to get you to your father - now."

"No!" Nathan pulled his hand away from River and scurried back behind the curtain with the girl in hot pursuit. He slipped under the drape and into an uncovered HVAC vent just off the floor. River dove, grabbing after the small boy's foot, but he'd disappeared into the vent before she could reach him.

"Nathan you little Imp!"

"Daddy will take me back home. I want to see the dragons."

River didn't have time for this. In less than half an hour she had to distract thirty officers and deputies for three hours minimum and she was nowhere near the right frame of mind yet.

"Does your Mom know that you're here?"

"No." The little voice echoed from the vent.

"She's probably dying with worry." River though out loud. "I have to go tell …"

"If you tell – I tell."

"Tell what?"

"I tell Mommy that you stole her key and, and you're doing Nothing in her room."

"Don't you dare, you little Imp." She threatened, turning another shade of red and reaching as deeply in the vent as she could.

"I'll tell!"

"You come out right now."

"No." He said. "Mouse don't go near Tiger."

River could feel the rumble of the compensators kicking in. The captain was starting their decent. Her time was running out. She had to do something - now.

"Okay, okay, I'm River now, not Tiger. And you, you can be Nathan, okay. Just come out of the Gorram vent." She pleaded.

"No!"

"You can stay under my bed till we get to Liann Jiun. I promise. Okay?"

"Will you show me the dragons?"

"Yes, Oh God yes. Just come out. Come." She waved to the boy beckoning him with pleading eyes.

"Promise?"

"Shen mu de tian ah (Sweet Mother of God) Yes! I promise!"

"Okay."

"And no telling about Nothing." River added.

The boy nodded. "I Promise."


	5. Chapter 4 Santo

Chapter Four - Santo

River stood at the edge of town without a clue as to how she would draw the officer's away from the depot for three hours. As she wandered the empty streets, she pondering what sort of havoc she could rain on this unsuspecting town, but she was coming up blank. Racking her brain, she suddenly realized that the streets were empty. At this time of day, they should be bustling with activity. Town folk lugging, buying, moving. selling. Where were they?

It became apparent that something big was already going on in this town; independent of what ever she might have planned. No one was on the streets.

She caught fleeting glances of woman or children peeking out the window as she made her way toward the center of town. Shops were shuttered and the saloon was locked up. What was going on? Where were the people?

Following the map Mal had sketched for her, River pressed on toward the center square. She could feel the fear from the people in their houses. They were afraid of something outside, but she was not sure what. When she arrived at the center of town, she found a huge mob of angry men gathered in front of the Sheriff's office all screaming for the Sheriff to give up someone inside. River moved to the back of the crowd and listened.

"We all know he done it, Sheriff."

"Yeah, give the Reaver to us. We'll take care of the animal."

The rest of the mob chimed in, but River was left confused. She can usually sense a Reaver anywhere within a mile of where she stood. But she was maybe fifty feet from the jail and she was getting nothing. Whatever was inside, it wasn't a Reaver.

"I want all you folk to go home. There ain't no Reavers no more. They're all dead."

"Give us the Reaver!" They screamed.

"Look - I got thirty armed guard here. This boy's gonna get a fair trial. You ain't gonna get no one outta here without a fight."

"That ain't so." The loud man yelled to the rest of the mob. "More'n half them officers want to see the Reaver dead too, and the rest ain't gonna shoot one of their own, not over scum like that."

River closed her eyes and reached out with her mind to the souls inside. There wasn't a Reaver there to find, just a bunch of really scared men. The loud mouth was right, though, the Sheriff only had ten men, none too keen on a fight. She moved from one to the next in her head.

_Why did I stay? I should have gone home before this got so bad._

_Sheriff's gonna get us killed_.

_I should just go up there an shoot the beast_.

_I didn't do nothing. _Did she find him? Second floor? She probed some more. _Why do they always want to kill me?_

River didn't know what they thought he'd done and she didn't care to search it out. All she knew was that the man they were holding inside didn't do anything and this crowd wasn't going away. Not before they'd killed an innocent man, anyways.

The other thing she knew was that every one in town was either locked away in their homes or right here and they'd been there for a while. Not a soul was anywhere else. The streets were completely empty. The depot would be completely empty. She didn't have to do anything. Captain should have clear sailing.

She tried to block out the growing hate from the crowd, so she could think, but it was getting harder. This was going to get ugly real soon. Someone threw a rope over a second story balcony across from the jail.

_Ugh_. River stomach turned in revulsion.

The last thing she wanted was to watch a hanging, to feel the man dangle from his neck and die. Or the shooting pain as his neck snapped, every part of his body screaming, while his brain slowly drifted to that dark place.

River didn't think she could block that out. If forced to stay she would have to watch it, feel it and she had to stay at least until the vaperators were heisted. That would be too long.

She stared at her fingers, trying to block out the world around her, and wondered where she would be if Simon had not come and rescued her. This man was alone, he had no one and he hadn't done anything. He was inocent, like she had been. He didn't deserve to die.

_That settles it_. She thought_. I'm going to get this man out of here, and I'm doin it now._

_._

_.-_

Mal looked at the empty depot and smiled. He loved it when a plan came together. The vaperators were werring happily, each producing a trickle of water into the holding tank. Each was installed in accordance with the proper Alliance standards, modular and easily replace, or in this case – stolen.

"Okay." He said. "Let's get to work."

"I don't know what River is doing, Sir, but she's got the whole town up there." Zoe sounded worried.

"Well let's hurry then." Jayne urged. "Be a shame to waste all that effort."

"Load'em two at a time." Mal said, not liking the tone in Zoe's voice. He'd known Zoe long enough to tell, if she was nervous about something, he should also be. "Jayne and I will stay here while you take them back. Cut the time in half."

"Good idea Mal." Jayne said.

"We'll collect River when we're done." Mal concluded.


	6. Chapter 5 Jail Break

Chapter Five – Jail Break

The jail was surrounded by the crowd on three sides, but the east side of the building butt directly up against the new town bank. It stretched down the street and to the Livery stable at the corner. No one stood at the far end. This was probably a good time to shake down that bank, but that was not the plan.

The plan was to get the poor man out of the jail and the roof just seemed like the best place to start. Get to the roof unnoticed was not a problem, the problem was what to do once she got there. That was perplexing.

By this time River knew almost exactly where in the jail the poor man was, second floor, middle, back. She could feel his fear spike, when the Sheriff fired off a round over the screaming crowd. But as she crouched on the flat roof, she couldn't figure out how to get in. There were no doors or hatched, no vents, no openings at all.

_God – I don't wanna die. _Someone below her felt.

_Must hurry_. River thought.

The bank had been constructed after the jail. It covered the entire back of the structure; however, there was an eighteen-inch gap between the buildings that was evident from the top. It had been blocked off from the sides to prevent varmints and small children from getting in, but the top was left open. River peered down into the dark gap trying to make out a doorframe. If this jail was a freestanding building at one time, it had to have a back door that was now blocked. She found it.

"A way in anyway." She mumbled.

River crawled over the lip. Using pressure from her arms, feet and back against the brick, she slid slowly into the gap. Her boots and hands managed the decent well, but her poor dress and back were badly scraped up. It bunched up on her back, eventually giving her some sort of cushion, but not before it had snagged and torn in several places. She knew she'd never make it back out this way, but every other portal was covered, guarded by a minimum of two men. This was the safest way in. The only way in.

Finding the door at the bottom was easy. She shimmed through the narrow space until it was in front of her. The door was locked from the inside, but turning the key with her mind to open it was only a little more difficult than finding it.

"You got two minutes Sheriff. Bring the Reaver out or we're coming in the get him."

There was barely enough time. River hurried through the door and made her way to the stairs. The funny thing about guarding a building from an angry mob was that no one pays much attention to what is going on inside. River slipped around the corner and up the stairs completely unnoticed. She ascended each stair carefully, silently.

"I ain't signed up for nothing like this Sheriff." One voice complained nervously from below.

"Me neither." Whined another.

"Bobby, Jim, if you two leave, you just promise me one thing," the Sheriff demanded. "You go home and don't join them that's out there. Got it."

"Yes sir." They both agreed.

River heard them both leave just as she reached the top. Two other guards stood at the second floor window facing north, both with rifles. The shorter one had the keys on his belt. They were talking about how to give up the prisoner, if it came down to it. The south window was abandoned; no doubt the responsibility of one of the two peering out to the north. Cells lined the left and right sides of the center hallway. A young black haired man sat in the middle right cell, the only occupant of the entire jail.

"One minute Sheriff."

River gazed at the prisoner, captivated by his serenity. A mob was screaming to lynch him and he sat, calm, resigned, as if he'd made his peace with it. His lean body sat on the cell floor, his long arms hugging his knees to his chest.

The man wore old fashion style clothing, but his appearance was young. She couldn't see his face, as his black hair was cut long in front, completely obscuring his features from sight, but it was cut short in back, well up off his shoulders. He muttered prayers behind his veil of privacy. Prayers River recognized from Sheppard Book. Book would recite these at times when their future was in question and death was near at hand.

There was something enchanting about this man. River couldn't quite place it. He was about to die, and yet, his mind was so peaceful. Almost like her own. She could have stared at the man forever, if not for the crowd outside.

"That's it Sheriff! Time's up!"

River moved quickly. Before the prisoner could look up, both guards lay unconscious on the floor, the girl had the keys and the cell door was open. He lifted his scarred face from his hands and peered directly into a pair of bright brown eyes, belonging to what he assumed was an angel.

"Follow me and be quiet."

The man did not question or hesitate. He followed the strange white haired girl down the steps and out the back door, into the narrow gap behind. Her appearance was that of a tramp or a homeless woman, her dress torn and her body scraped, but any savior would do at the moment.

This time, River took the key from the door, closed it behind them and locked it from the out side. Then she pocketed the key. They could leave through the building – later – much later.

"It's blocked on the ends." The man whispered.

"Shhh."

It had only been an hour and a half since she had entered town. River hoped Mal and the others got what they wanted, because in less than a minute all hell would break loose. The whole mob would be swarming everywhere looking for the escaped Reaver. And none of them would be in a charitable mood.

"What now?" The man whispered.

River looked him up and down as best she could. He was tall, well built and he had a kind spirit. She could feel it. Though she really couldn't see his face, from the dimness of the gap and the cut of his hair, she felt she had done well. _Pick a random man to save and he turns out pretty easy on the eyes. _She thought.

"Now we wait." River smiled.

"By the way, I'm Cayman." He offered his hand.

"River." Was all the girl said.


	7. Chapter 6 Broken

Chapter Six - Broken

Kaylee knocked twice before she slid Simon's door open and poked her head inside. He wasn't there. She told herself that she was only checking to make sure he was all right, but she knew it was more. She wanted to be there, in his room, feeling close to him, touch his things, be in his bed. It had been over a week since she last slept here. She missed the feel, the warmth, the smell, his touch.

"Oh God!" She chided, as the reality of her presence here struck her. "I'm a stalker. I'm that crazy girl that can't let go."

Kaylee sunk to the bed sitting and pondering this new reality. She didn't like it. Kaylee wanted to stay, look around, soaking in the 'Simon' of the space, but now she felt this was in some way wrong – freaky.

"I should go." She said to herself, but she just couldn't make herself leave. Kaylee wanted to stay, be part of this again.

His room was neat and clean as usual. He liked to keep it that way. It was quite the opposite of Kaylee's room, which was a collage of oddly collected piles. There was an order to her piles though, accessed by frequency and location, but she always envied Simon's ability to organize.

Inara told her to talk to Simon. Just get him alone and talk it out. It was probably nothing. A misunderstanding. _So I should just wait for him here_. She thought. _On his bed_.

Kaylee looked around the room, knowing she should be somewhere else. Captain was counting on her to keep an eye out for River, while they were all off looking for her. All but Simon and her. But this was the only time she would have to talk, like Inara told her to, just talk to him.

_Maybe I should wait for him like last time_. She thought. A smile filled her face, as she closed her eyes. She had a sudden flash of both of them lying naked on his bed, kissing, touching, rubbing all over each other and …

"Stop!" She forced her eyes open. Her pulse rushed, her breaths came quick and shallow. "Talking. Just talking - Kaylee."

He might never come at this rate. She surveyed the room a last time and smiled as her eyes settled on a crumpled piece of paper set in the back corner of his desk.

"Aw - Look." She mused. "I'm rubbing off on him."

The engineer grinned proudly as she put her hand on the paper, flattening it out, smoothing it, making it more Simon like. It was obviously another letter from his dad, she recognized the stationary. He also had a tendency to crumple them and throw them places, though she didn't exactly know why.

Suddenly she stopped smoothing. Something had possessed her, as her fingers traced along the edges of the letter, something beyond her control. Kaylee knew better, it was wrong, but she just couldn't help herself. Picking up the letter, she read it.

The woman's mouth fell open as she read, not believing what his father was laying on him. The future of the Tam lineage, the balance of Control between Law and Chaos, the future of the Verse, all this rested on Simon. What was all this stuff? When she finished, she sat staring at the paper in her hand, a dumfounded look on her face.

"A lot to take in right away, huh?" Simon commiserated.

"Oh!" Kaylee screamed, nearly jumped out of her skin. "Simon I…"

"No, no really. It's fine." He reassured.

"I didn't mean to pry. I just," She paused. "Simon. He wants you to have kids."

"I know."

"But you know I …"

"Yes."

"This ain't right." She said, standing in defiance, crumpling the paper in her hand again as she shook with anger. "He can put this on you. He can say that about me, just cause - cause I can't."

Simon nodded.

"So what if the zhou ma (damned) Parliament is out of balance. This is fung luh. (crazy)"

"Shh - Kaylee." She was starting to get agitated. Simon tried to calm her.

"Don't you shush me, Simon! What wrong our plan? What's wrong with what we was gonna do? "Her emotions were starting to boil over.

Simon stood, hands out and mouth open, unable to keep up with the girl.

"What so important about some yu ben (stupid) blood line. Just cause I can't have no Tam hai zi (child) don't mean the whole Verse is out of whack."

"Kaylee." He tried to hold her, calm her, but she was having no part of it. Her arms flailed in frustration as she stomped around his cube.

"No! Simon, no! He wants you to leave me cause I'm broke. Cause I'm broke." She slumped to the bed tears streaming for her eyes, still clenching the cursed paper in her hand. "There ain't nothin I can do about that, Simon. I'm broke."

Simon sat next to her, wrapped her in his arms and just held her as she cried.


	8. Chapter 7 Stowaway

Chapter Seven - Stowaway

"Quick, in here." River ordered as she opened the sliding door to her living module.

Serenity had been moved to a more covered spot, but River had no trouble finding her. Her pattern was as much a part of River as her own fingers by now. The bay door was open, but Kaylee was not in the deck chair. River felt she was with her brother. She was crying and Simon was worried, but River was too busy to search for the whys. Four vaperators were stowed right where they should be, but no one else was on board.

"Shh." She hushed the man.

"Should I get under the bed?" The young man asked.

"No, that's taken."

He looked at the woman, wondering what that could mean.

"Get in the upright." She said, unlocking the tall locker door and pulling out twin Chinese fighting swords. Wrapping the swords in a blanket, she put them high atop the locker. She was famished and she could sense the same from both the man next to her and the boy under the bed.

"I'll be back with some food in a minute. For all of us." She added, looking at her bed.

Cayman climbed in the locker wondering what kind of mess he'd gotten himself into. The twisted road that led from the jail to salvation in the belly of a space freighter was both unexpected and filled with surprises. The homeless white haired angel turned out not to be homeless at all and why she had decided to risk her life to save his was starting to press on his mind. But for now, getting off Santo was his priority. He could consider the rest of this later.

He stood deathly still in the small locker. The last thing in the Verse he wanted was for someone to find him before they'd left. They'd hand him back to the authorities on this backwater planet, and that'd be curtains for sure. But after a minute of standing in silence he started to here a humming sound from outside. He could swear it was coming from under the bed, just outside the locker. He started to ponder the last words River had spoken to him, or had it been the bed she was speaking to.

"How many guys is she smuggling off this hell-hole?" He said to himself. Cayman tried to hold still in the locker, but the humming and his curiosity got the better of him. "I gotta know."

Cayman quietly opened the door and crept out.

"Shhh." Came a small voice from under the bed.

The stowaway bent down on one knee and looked under the simple pallet to see a little boy curled up in a blanket.

"Who are you?" He asked.

"I'm Nathan." The boy answered, curling his lips all the way into his mouth and making a popping noise. "Why do you have all those lines on your face?"

"They're scars. I got hurt." The man answered as simply as he could. "Are you River's small fry?"

"No." Nathan laughed. "Tiger don't eat little boys."

"I didn't mean to food. Are you her son?"

"Nope."

This was like pulling bones from a fish. "Who's son are you?"

"Cap'ns'"

The young man's heart jumped into his throat. This had to be the worst luck he'd had all week. He didn't know who this River was, but he was sure that the captain of any respectable vessel would turn him in at the drop of a hat, and now he was chatting with the captain's son. He could feel the hammer about to drop any second. And then it happened, the door behind him slid suddenly open and he knew it was over for him. He put his hands over his head and waited for the worst.

"What are you doing out." River whispered, closing the door quickly. "Do you want to get caught?"

"He's talking to me." Came the voice from under her bed.

"Well – you get out here too, and eat. Kaylee is back at the ramp and Simon has laid down to rest. Everyone else is out looking for me. We'll be off as soon as they get back."

Cayman breathed a sigh of relief. They were as good as gone, and he didn't care where they were going, as long as it was away from here.

"Kaylee your sister?"

"Just as well as." She replied, handing him a crust. "Simon's my brother."

"Thanks." He replied, taking the food.

"You'll have to be satisfied with this – both of you. It's all I could find on short notice. We still haven't stocked the galley with what we got from Harvest yet."

River laid out some bread, protein spread and a sliced pare. They looked like a banquet to Cayman, but Nathan looked disappointed.

"You seem to move around a lot."

"Some of us." River corrected. "Imp here is a runaway and not supposed to be out here without his mother." They finished the remainder of the small meal in relative silence.

After they ate, Cayman moved to the bed next to River and they talked. Nathan bounced happily around her module floor, playing with his toy boat and dancing aimlessly. The older stowaway brushed aside his long black hair to clear a path for his eyes to see his savior better. He revealed a badly scarred face.

Cayman reached out, delicately grasping a hand full of River's white locks spellbound by them. He knew now she wasn't an angel, but he had to touch to be sure. He felt comfortable enough around this girl, this woman, to show his scars without fear, and the little boy seemed to be phased by nothing.

The wounds were old and healed, but many and deep. It was no wonder he was often taken for a Reaver, at least by those that had never seen one. River touched the man's face gently, eyes wide with what looked like fascination to the man. _This is a very unusual woman. _Cayman thought.

"I want to thank you again for saving me and putting me up here." He said quietly.

He fondled the bit of white mane in his hand as if it were finely spun white gold. It was the most extraordinary hair he'd ever seen. River could sense the question mulling in his mind, but she tried her best not to hear it before he spoke. She didn't want him to find out she was a Reader. That would be horrible.

"What made you help me?"

"I know what it's like to be different." She offered. This was true in more ways than he would ever know and it wasn't just the hair.

"How did this happen to you?" River asked, tracing the scar on his cheek. She got a flash of a Reaver and a slashing knife. She quickly recoiled and took in a gasp.

"No, don't feel bad. It doesn't hurt anymore." He mistook her quick breath and pounding heart to be embarrassment.

"I – I'm sorry."

"That's Okay, really. My town got hit by Reavers when I was younger. Don't know why they didn't eat me."

"Lilac." She said absently.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"I didn't." She lied quikly. "I - I was just guessing."

Nathan heard the word Reaver and sat down in front of the two, listening intently.

"You got et by Reavers!?"

"Behave yourself Imp." River scolded.

She didn't know why, but she was getting that feeling again. That flutter in the pit of her stomach, and it was making her uncomfortable and awkward. She had a hard enough time not reading this man, without the flutters. Even though she was really trying hard, the flutters just got worse. Maybe – maybe they were not coming from him. Maybe they were from…

"So – what about you?"

"What?" She seemed to blush a bit at the reversal in questioning.

"I more or less understand what I am doing here." Cayman observed. "But why is the Captain's son hiding in your bedroom?"

"Cause Tiger don't want me in Mommy's room no more." Nathan replied. "She's using it."

"Blackmail." River corrected with a glare. "He's a stowaway like you, but as soon as we break void I'm going to tell on you."

"Then I'll tell on Tiger." He retorted, in a tiny little threading tone that made River smile.

"Tiger won't care, cause the nice man will be in Liann Jiun by then."

'Why is Tiger mean?"

"Because Imp is bad."

Nathan got quiet when faced with what he knew was the truth. Truth was something he could not argue with, even from River. They fell silent.

River may have liked the silence that had filled the room, but Cayman, on the other hand, did not like it. Even though they'd been talking in whispers the whole time he'd been there, the silence was awkward. It was like something had died.

"So – Nathan, why do you call River a Tiger?" He said to revive the conversation.

"Cause she is like a big cat" Nathan explained.

"How so?"

"She sits real quiet, and she walks real quiet and sometimes she pounces like my cat."

"Yeah?" The man smiled and River watched him intently. "You have a cat?"

The little boy nodded. "and she sees stuff in the dark ."

"Any thing else?"

"and she likes to rub herself between her legs and purr just like my cat."

River's mouth dropped open, as she flushed bright red from shock and embarrassment. "Nathan you little Imp!" She yelled. "I'm going to kill you."

Cayman fell off the bed with a clatter, only just managing to hold his laughter to a quite chuckle.

Nathan quickly scrambled under River's bed as she grabbed for him. She turned herself literally upside-down in her pursuit of the little troll, but he proved to be too illusive for her.

"River?" Simon's voice sounded surprised, though occasional clattering coming from her room was once the norm, years earlier. It did, however, grab his attention today. The others were all out looking for her. What was she doing here?

Cayman quickly pulled a blanket over himself and River froze. The top of her head was on the deck and her right leg straight up in the air, while her left was hooked around the rack post of the bed. Her arms were still stretched under, as Simon opened her door.

"River, are you all right? Where have you been?" Simon also froze in the doorway, not exactly sure what it was he was looking at. "What are you doing?"

His sister twisted around awkwardly to face him, still upside-down. "I thought I saw a mouse."

"How long have you been here?" He sounded completely incredulous.

"I don't know."

She didn't bother to right herself as her brother considered her explanation. She just smiled from her inverted perspective of the ship. Simon seemed to accept this and left quietly, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Kaylee!" They heard him yelling to the front of the hold. "She's here! Call the others back!"

Cayman came out from under the covers.

"Is he always that laid back?"

"He is usually wound pretty tight, but." River explained. "We have a history."


	9. Chapter 8 Falling

Chapter Eight - Falling

Within the hour they were off planet. No one knew what or how River had done it, but her distraction had gotten them all four vaperators at the cost of ten hours of extra chaos in trade for them. They had waited an hour for her before going into town to find her. Jayne was particularly peeved at having to return to the scene of the crime, but felt a bit better when the town folk suggested that River might have been eaten by the escaped Reaver. Kaylee's call was a relief.

Mal was less than happy with her disappearing and re-appearing act and was eager to make up time. He'd kept her on the bridge for two hours, making sure all the calculations were done for the rest of the trip. He had rendezvous to keep and time to recoup. Everyone was on edge until they made the void.

When River finally made it back to her room, with a fresh tray of food, she found the two stowaways in the middle of her floor, drawing pictures.

'What are you two doing?"

"Playing quietly." Cayman said proudly. "Not an easy task."

"I'm in enough trouble now." River complained quietly.

"Did you expect me to stay in the locker?"

"Well it's obvious we can't keep you two in together without everybody onboard finding out, so one of you will have to stay somewhere else." River concluded.

"I can find a place in the cargo hold." Cayman offered.

"You'd be dead before we finish landing on Liann Jiun." River pointed out. "No – I have a safer place for you." Safer than having this constant temptation in her locker while she slept was more accurate. "Imp. You get back in your nest. I'll be back in a few minutes."

The boy, now full up on food and getting sleepy complied willingly, as River took Cayman quickly by the hand and led him into the passenger's lounge. She let it go just as quickly, as her heart began to thump inexplicably. She didn't like that.

"Follow me." She ordered in a whisper. "Go when I go and stand still when I do."

Simon was in his infirmary, stocking his drug shelf and generally organizing. River reached out with her mind and located everyone in Serenity. Simon turned to his shelf and River moved swiftly and silently to the cargo hold with her stowaway shadow. They stopped directly under the load control platform. Zoe stood over them, running down a checklist of things they'd need when they got to Liann Jiun. She absently drifted up the steps as she pondered the list, glancing periodically down to the cargo to make sure nothing was loose. Eventually she finished her check and headed to the upper airlock to do the enviro-suit list.

River moved quickly up the steps and to the corner of the gangway, where she stopped for a moment. Cayman followed. Just as they stopped, Jayne came into the hold below them to fetch his free weights, no doubt at Zoe's request. He grumbled as he strapped down the bench and picked up the two or three hand bells that lay on the deck. After he left, the two moved quickly to Inara's shuttle. River unlocked the door and they slipped into the safety of the vacant craft.

"Okay," River sighed. "You'll be safe here, till we get to Liann Jiun. I'll get you out then. Until then I'll sneak food down twice a day, if that's good with you?"

"That will be fine."

"Just stay quiet." She warned as she turned.

_Do you have to go? He thought._

"What?" She blushed at his thought.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"I will." He said. _Don't go. _He thought.

"Will what?" Her heart was pattering like a nervous bird now, each breath felt like a labor. She bit her lower lip to check the flutters, to no avail.

"Stay quiet." He answered.

"Oh." She felt the flutter growing. "I gotta go."

River ran from the room, as if she had escaped a near brush with death, or something worse. Now she needed to get to the bridge. It was her shift and the Captain was looking for her. She could use the solitude.

River stopped at the top of the forward stairway and did a quick check. Simon still organizing and fretting over some letter, Zoe still list checking, Jayne eating, Kaylee crying, Nathan sleeping, Mal reaching for the intercom and Cayman thinking about her.

"**River! Get your lan duo**** butt up here."** The captain ordered.

.

.-

Mal took the Wave in his quarters, shortly after they entered the void. Any further and they'd have missed the communications. With no relay points, communications in the void was almost as slow as travel, but they were not that far in yet. He though he was lucky to have gotten the message at all, until he heard what Inara had to say.

"What do you mean missing?"

"Mal, I'm at my wits end." Inara's face was red from crying, drawn and weary. "We've looked absolutely everywhere."

"Town? Mei Lee's?"

"Everywhere Mal!" She cried. "Mei Lee wants to kill herself over this and I'm worried sick that he's – Mal, I think he is on Serenity."

"Here?" Mal's concern turned to surprise. "You're kidding right?"

"No, Mal. I'm not!" Her tone became somewhat accusatory. "I think he's gone to see the dragons."

"If he is here, we will find him quick enough." Mal assured. "I'll have River hunt him down."

The possibility made sense to Mal almost as soon as Inara suggested it. The lure of the adventure, the way he was acting at the school, the questions, the missing food, it added up. The look on Mal's face confirmed to Inara that his thinking was the same. It seemed to comfort her a little.

"Mal – if he's there, don't bring him back just yet."

"Why?"

"If you bring him now – I may just kill him."


	10. Chapter 9 Eta Kooram Nah Smech

Chapter Nine – Eta Kooram Nah Smech

River passed Zoe on the gangway overlooking the cargo bay. She tried to look inconspicuous carrying another tray of food down to her room, which was getting harder. This was the third tray today and there were only so many ways from the galley to the shuttle or passenger modules, all of them seemingly guarded by someone along the way. This time it was Zoe and something made her stop.

"Zoe?"

"Yes."

"When did you know?" River hesitated. "Know that you loved Wash?"

The woman was taken off guard by the question, but she had learned to expect that from River. Oddly, she had been expecting this question from her for the better part of a year, though she didn't know exactly why. Perhaps it was that River was growing up, finally becoming more of a woman than a weapon. Perhaps it was her sniper's intuition, anticipating the worst possible scenario and finding her way out. In any case Zoe knew exactly what to say.

"Well, it hit me the first time a laid eyes on him." She replied, plain as day. "I hated it. Shei zhi dao God knows I hated him for it, for almost a year. It was the last thing I needed. Gave me this fluttery feeling right here." The woman put her fist in her gut and twisted it.

"Oh."

"I don't regret it though." She added wistfully. "None of it."

Zoe took a moment surveyed the cargo hold from the gangway, looking for problems with the stacking and strapping. Looking for a reason not to think about Wash. He'd been gone for near six years, but sometimes it felt like yesterday, if she let it.

She needed to focus on the work right now. The last thing she wanted now was for things to start shifting around in the cargo hold. Losing freight meant losing share in Serenity and that was something she wanted to avoid, if at all possible. She could think on Wash later. Then it dawned on her what River was asking.

"Why – you find someone?" Zoe sounded surprised.

"I think maybe I have?" River said, feeling that same fluttering in her stomach.

Why just bringing food to the man should make her feel this way was disconcerting to her. But Zoe's words were putting a name to this feeling and she was scared of what it might mean.

"Well good for you." Zoe said with a perplexed smile. "Where are you keeping this guy, under your bed?"

"No!" River responded with fake horror. "In my locker!"

.

.-

River slipped into Inara's shuttle an hour later with the small tray of food. Cayman was sleeping. She knelt by him and stared. The scars on his face were deep and had healed poorly. He might have been quite attractive if not for these grooves and gouges. She stretched out her hand but he slept lightly and woke. River recoiled and set down the tray.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." _Damn these flutters. I must sound like a fool_.

"That's fine. The smell would have woken me. I'm famished." He said, grabbing some food and eating." _Don't scare her - you dolt._

"I'm usually not so awkward." She lied.

"Mmm - That okay, you've been more than kind." He said as he took a bite. "No one has been this nice to me since the bandages came off."

"I'd like to listen, if you want to talk." She pat the cushion next to her and as he moved there her heart began to patter.

"Not much to say. People are drawn to beauty, and repulsed my ugliness. Story of my life." He said._ You are so beautiful_.

His thoughts were leaking all over the room and River couldn't avoid them even if she wanted to.

"Am I? I mean, are they?" She caught herself. If he found out she was a Reader, she would be the freak then. He'd probably run screaming. Her innards started to tumbling.

"I'm glad you're not like that." He said. _God I hope she's not like that. _He wished.

River smiled nervously. She wanted to kiss him, but she was afraid. What would he think? What if he didn't like her, what if…

"I'm sorry. I'm making you nervous." He said, letting his hair cover his face. _It's my face. I'm ugly. I can see, she is scared._

"No – no, you're not." She reached out pushing his hair back and touched his face. Suddenly her heart jumped into her throat and her feet wanted to run. The flutter in her stomach was more like someone had punched her, the fear overshadowing her desire to kiss him. She wanted to stay. She wanted to run. This was all so insane.

_Stay_. He thought. _Please stay_.

She felt like she would burst.

"Eta Kooram Nah Smeck." She mumbled.

An erotic shutter ran through her body, shaking the fear away, leaving her relaxed and tingly."

"What?" Cayman asked, confused.

"Shut up and kiss me." River said, pulling him to her.


	11. Chapter 10 Caught Doing Nothing

Chapter Ten – Caught Doing Nothing

Jayne walked casually up the stairs from the cargo room floor to the gangway above. He munched on a small crust of bread as he walked his rounds. He normally would be sleeping, but two months straight of being stuck on Harvest had given him a severe cast of wanderlust and he just couldn't keep his eyes closed.

There was nothing wrong with Harvest, per se, nor with his job as the chief of security at the Academy for Companions being built there. It was just -well - he hadn't been tied to a planet for more than a two week span since as far as he could remember. He was getting antsy just sitting still that long. He needed to feel some motion.

As he got to the gangway though, he heard a strange noise coming from Inara's shuttle. The door was open._Hell, she never left the door open when she wasn't here,_ he thought. Jayne stuck the crust in his mouth and pulled out his gun, straining his ears.

"Uh, uh"

"Mmm. Ah…, ah…, ah…, ah…, ahhh."

"What the hell?"

Jayne pushed Inara's curtain back with a sudden swish, his gun snapped to the figures in the middle of the floor. The last thing he expected to see was a Reaver, on top of River, in the heart of Serenity, smack dab in the middle of Inara's shuttle.

"Ta ma de!"Jayne aimed for the Reaver and…

"Gun!" River yelled, and to both men's surprise the gun flew from Jayne's hand and into River's

Jayne quickly jumped on the man, pulling him off of River and throwing him against the wall. He pulled his knife and started toward the intruder, but not before River jumped between them, clutching the blanked to her bare body and pointing the gun at Jayne's forehead.

"Now wait just a damn minute. This ain't right." Jayne exclaimed, confusion plastered all over his face. "Point the gun at the ... Hey. He ain't no Reaver?"

The big man stepped back and took in the whole picture. River and a man, both naked, in Inara's shuttle, incense burning, lights down low… "Damn girl – hang a sock or something."

He snatched the gun from River's hand and left muttering his disgust. It was like he walked in on his sister. It gave him the creeps.

River stood in silence for a long moment, clutching the blanket to her chest as the sound of Jayne's footsteps diminished. She was afraid to turn around; sensing the shock in Cayman's mind and it wasn't over Jayne. He knew now and she didn't want to see the look on his face, the fear, the disgust. She just couldn't take it. Now that he knew she was a Psion, a Reader, a freak.

_Why did I have to go and do that,_ she silently chided herself. _Why didn't I just close the pao bei shen door_. She couldn't take the look of revulsion that had to be there in his eyes. Her shoulders slumped and her chin fell to her chest.

"I'm sorry." She muttered. "I'm so… I should have told you."

Cayman reached out, taking her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. His eyes were wide with wonder, but nowhere in them was the repulsion River expected. He hugged her tightly.

"River, you are beautiful, just the way you are."

So many years of hiding it welled up inside of her and the tears came pouring out of the girl. She didn't know why, but she just could not contain them. The two settled back into the cushions and he held her as she drifted off into a warm, tearful but comforting sleep.

.

.-

Mal entered the shuttle, gun first, and found them just where Jayne said they would be. River and the stranger were both curled up on Inara's cushions, wrapped only in a blanket. Mal's mind quickly flashed to Inara and himself in the same position a few months earlier. He pushed it away.

Jayne told him not to bother with the gun, that River would just take it away, but he held it just the same to be sure. Now he was glad he did. River lay fast asleep on the man's scarred chest, while the man sat reclined, waiting calmly.

"I see you already know River." Mal started the conversation.

"You don't need the gun Captain."

"I know." He quipped. "But it does feel good in the hand."

"That's fair."

"Jayne said River was doing a Reaver in here."

"He didn't seem like the most sensitive man."

"What the zhou ma di are you doing on my ship?"

"I'm a stowaway." He replied, as if there was no more to it than that.

"That's pretty obvious." Mal nodded. "Does the stowaway have a name?"

"Cayman. David, but I go by Cayman."

"Well Mr. Cayman, normally folk ask before they book passage on my ship."

"I'm sorry, but I didn't really have a choice."

"And normally there is payment."

"I don't have any money." His reply was almost shameful in tone.

His scarred face looked mildly oriental to Mal. He had obviously suffered a fair bit of pain in his lifetime, a fact Mal could relate to. Young and honest as best as he could read, and Mal was confident in his ability to read folk.

"I've been having trouble holding a job lately." The young man explained.

"You the boy they wanted to string up back in Santo?"

"Yes, but I didn't do anything," he defended quickly. "and when River offered to help – I didn't ask any questions."

"She's got a way of getting what she wants." Mal observed, putting his gun away. "But she should have come to me. We would have worked out a more formal means of compensation."

"This ain't …"

"Don't matter to me, son." Mal interrupted. He didn't need to hear the lie. "I got too much on my mind to care."

"You mean your boy?"

Mal's gun was out again in a flash, an instinct that he never regretted when he was surprised by something. "What do you know about my son?"

"Woe Captain." Cayman's hands both went up immediately. "River's got him stowed away too – under her bed."

"Under her bed! Shen zai tian – Me di yu fa sheng zai wo de chuan?

"It wasn't her fault." Cayman defended. "It was the boy's idea."

"Shen yuan gu, he's four! I'm gonna kill her." Mal looked down at the girl, as she slept peacefully. Not willing to kill her in her sleep he paced back and forth for a minute, jabbing randomly at the air with his gun in hand, out of frustration. "I'm gonna kill them both."

He charged out of the room toward the passenger modules, cursing as he went.

River hugged Cayman tightly, eye still closed. "He took it rather well."

"How do you mean?" Cayman questioned her analysis of the situation.

"We're both still alive.


	12. Chapter 11 Reckoning

Chapter Eleven - Reckoning

Irara's face filled the vid screen in her shuttle. Mal stood in front of the screen holding Nathan in place by the top of his head. Mal was going over details of how best to get Nathan back to Harvest in one piece and assuring Inara he would be safe until then. Nathan, on the other hand, was doing everything he could to avoid eye contact with his mother.

"Do you want me to turn back now?" Mal offered. "I can contact Tenith and Bosworth, rearrange our plans."

"No. No, Mal. You said those folks in Whitefall really need those Vaperators." Inara answered. "and if you bring Nathan back right now I may strangle him."

Inara glowered as Nathan hid behind Mal's leg.

"And don't forget to show him the Ta Ma De _(Damn)_dragons. I don't want to be doing this again in two weeks. My heart can't take it."

.

.-

River sat sheepishly at the table with Nathan between her and Cayman. Mal and Simon took turns grilling the three of them while Zoe and Jayne stood behind them trying to look big and menacing. Kaylee just sat in the corner and laughed quietly.

"Place like this ain't no place for a little boy." Mal barked at River.

"… and River – what were you thinking. What do we know about, about." Simon stammered.

"Cayman!" River snapped.

"In my defense." Cayman interjected. "I chose between here and certain death so… "

"Granted." Mal agreed. "We'll get to you later."

"Fair enough." Cayman fell silent.

"River. Lots can happen out here in one day." Mal continued.

"Yes Captain."

"Why didn't you come to me?"

River bit her lip.

"I was black nailing Tiger." Nathan admitted in as small a voice as he could. "Cause she was doing Nothin in Mommy's room."

"Nathan!" River warned.

"River?" Simon asked. "What's he talking about?"

"Okay, I took this." River admitted, holding up Inara's key. "I just wanted a quiet place to – to do nothing."

"You stole Inara's key?" Simon was incredulous in his disbelief.

"I needed a place where I could think." She glared at Nathan.

"I aughta do more thinkin like that." Jayne mumbled.

"Jayne!" Zoe hushed him, curtly. She seemed to understand exactly what River felt.

Nathan sat quietly; just happy everyone was talking about River instead of him. Down deep he knew he was the cause of all this and he didn't want everyone else to come to that same conclusion.

"Breaking a prisoner out of jail is a might high on the risky scale, even though it was effective. But bringing that fugitive on my ship? What were you thinking? That could bring a world of hurt down on all of us."

"Well Mal, it ain't exactly our first go-around on that." Jayne said, pointing at River and Simon. "and that was more or less your idea – wasn't it?"

"Yeah, Cap'n, and they was gonna kill him." Kaylee defended.

Initially Cayamn's appearance had scared Kaylee enough to keep her in the corner, away from the mutilation that gave him the Reaver like appearance. For at least a half hour she couldn't bring herself to face the table. But as she observed the man's gentle demeanor and apparent positive outlook on his situation, she found that it wasn't hard to look past the scars on his face and arms. She understood why River could not just leave him behind. She kind of liked him.

"Sir, we can use the extra hands, now that Nathan is onboard." Zoe pointed out. "He'll be needing care and attention, and there was still a job to finish."

"I sure as hell ain't babysittin." Jayne grumbled.

Mal felt the discussion slipping from his control. "Bezui!_(Shut up!)_" He barked.

He held his open hand out to River and she put Inara's key in it. Walking to Simon's side he stuffed it in the doctor's vest pocket. The gesture silently anointed Simon as their chaperone.

"This I already have. If you need a quiet place in the future, just ask. I'll let you in the cargo shuttle. Cayman, you can put up in the passenger module on the other side of Simon."

Simon nodded his approval, as did Cayman.

"Nathan." Mal's voice became all kinds of ominous. "You come with me."

.

.-

Mal set the little boy on his rack and turned to clean himself up. The boy winced and squirmed, but made no other noise and sat obediently. His face was red from crying and his father's was drawn and dour. Neither was enjoying this moment.

"You can get hurt out here." Mal started. "and it doesn't always come from where you expect."

"I won't be bad again." Nathan promised, rubbing his eyes.

"Oh yes - you will!" Mal said assuredly. "But next time – you better be able to handle it, Son."

"Yes, sir."

"Who did you hurt, Nathan?"

"Mommy?"

"and?"

"River?"

"Was it worth it?"

The boy sat for a moment, head down, considering the last two days. The hiding with River, the hunger, the spanking he'd just survived and the prospect of dragons tomorrow. He looked up into his father's eyes; his look was thoughtful and honest.

"Yes." He said. "It was."

Mal's eyes narrowed as he considered the boy's answer with a combination of irritation and respect.

"It's been a long day. Time for sleep."

.

.-

Zoe sat in the pilot's chair, alone on the bridge. A lot had changed in the last hours, since they broke void. She pondered on what type of emotional crisis River was going through that resulted in her sudden turn into larceny at so many different levels. Part of this transition was amusing to her, but part of it concerned her as well.

The warrior recalled their conversation from the previous day. She might actually have been telling the truth about the locker. Zoe smiled. River had been doing so well these past years. River would never say normal, but whole. Zoe nodded, whole was a good description.

River had feelings for this boy. Zoe frowned. There was trouble in that. Trouble River might not be prepared to handle. Zoe knew what kind of empty a soul can get losing someone and how likely that was in their business. That was something she did not want River to go through. _It's better she not go there at all,_ she thought.

The windscreen on Serenity's bridge was filled with the familiar pattern of passing stars. An occasional red or green streak from an excited atom lit the room as it sped by. She thought about Wash, it was time. His chair held her, the smell of plastic dinosaurs and lambs wool filled her senses. She missed him.

River had told her of the light place, the empty place, the place of great nothingness and it still teased at her mind. The girl said Wash was not there, but if he were, was he whole enough to survive there? Was she whole enough for that place. Chen di tau xu?

.

.-

"Eta Koorm Nah Smech" River whispered, soft and low. A shiver ran through her body, as programmed. It gave her the ounce of courage, or desire, she needed to do what came next.

Sneaking by Simon's open door was easy, even with her heart pounding and her head spinning. He'd thought to keep a watchful eye on her, but he should have known better. This was River. If she wanted something, she was going to get it. River slipped into Cayman's module and pulled her dress over her head dropping it to the deck.

"Woe, River?" He stood holding his hands out in a stopping motion. "I don't think this is such a good idea."

"Shh." She took his right hand and held it to her breast. Her heart was beating wildly, her breath deep and even, her eyes longing. "Can you feel?"

"Yes." He nodded.

She looked at him as if pleading for an explanation. The feeling was taking her apart from the inside and he was the only one that could explain it to her. Not so much in words – but she knew the answer was in him.

"I – I think I love you." She said.

River could feel the confusion; sense the doubt in his mind.

"River – I."

"Shh. Don't say anything." She answered, gazing deeply into his eyes. "You're not supposed to know right now."

She pulled him close, reached up on tiptoes and kissed him passionately. Cayman wrapped his arms around her and lost himself in her kiss. They sank slowly into his bed and silently they made love.


	13. Chapter 12 Liann Jiun Dragons

Chapter Twelve – Liann Jiun Dragons

Cayman watched River walking with Nathan as he trailed behind them at the Shi jeng Zoo. He tried to piece together a picture of this woman, a collage of child-like exuberance, womanly grace, analytical distance and foolish passion. They seemed in such conflict with each other, but were blended into complete harmony. Yet there was a discord blended in with her diverse union. He could see her tortured past in her eyes, no matter how hard she tried to hide it from him. He was a resident of that same past. He knew the signs.

They walked along under the perfect sky, oblivious to the stares of those around them. Her appearance was as distracting to the other patrons of the zoo as his own. He, thankfully, could hide most of his disfigurement behind his long black bangs and his Goth-like clothing. River, on the other hand, could not hide her shockingly white hair, her youthful enthusiasm and her undeniable grace of movement. These made her a painfully evident anomaly that could not be ignored. He found himself watching her, the way she interacted with the little boy, the way she walked, her movements, her voice, her laugh, her smile. She was special, at least to him.

The day was perfect for them. Mal and Zoe went to pick up Inara's consignment, Jayne when to – where Jayne goes to when he isn't in any official capacity and Simon took Kaylee to the Tao Xie _(Harmonious)_ Park. River told them it would be good for the two, just to be alone in a harmonious setting. Which left Cayman and River to take Nathan to see the Dragons.

Normally the boy wouldn't have accepted any other escort than his father, but today Nathan was not on speaking terms with Captain Malcolm Reynolds. He'd spent much of breakfast trying to find a sitting position that didn't hurt and staring down into his food. But, since he and River had entered the zoo, the warmth of the sun, the freshness of the breeze and the prospect of mysterious discoveries had taken on new meaning for the boy. How River kept up with him was a mystery. Cayman followed behind the two as they gulped down every bit of joy they could find.

He pictured River, for a moment, as the boy's mother and he as the father. Just a normal family on a trip to the zoo, it was a pleasant fantasy. He would like that, he decided. Being with her made him – well – feel normal, hopeful. He'd thought all chance of normalcy had been cut out of him seven years earlier. He'd had a girlfriend, a job, a life. This all felt like so much more. But when your life is defined by not having been eaten, not even good enough for food, ones expectations are set fairly low. Was this all just a fantasy?

A leaf blew across the cobbled walkway in front of him. The monkey house chattered to his left, painted lion tracks led to the right. The air was fresh and warm, the sun bright and cheerful. He was walking openly in a damn zoo. The woman in front of him was the most beautiful thing that had been in his life for seven long years. Yes – this was a fantasy.

His mind flashed to the warmth of her touch as she pressed against him the night before_. _The softness of her breasts, the smoothness of her skin, the taste of her lips, the smell of the hair, these all lingered in his mind_._These had all been very real_. _But had that just been payment, like the captain had implied? Or had there been more to it? She wanted him to, but is that the only reason he'd done it?

Cayman scolded himself mentally. He was surely appreciative of what she had done for him. Saving a person's life, while risking your own, is not a small thing. But he didn't think he was the sort to sleep with a girl just to say thank you. He wanted to believe that there was more to him than that. He liked this woman. There was something about her that fascinated him, captivated him. But was he using her? Was she using him?

Not many women would even suffer him more than a repulsed glance; much less take him into her bed or hold him. River didn't see him the way others did. She had touched him - in more ways than one. Maybe in more ways than he even knew. He smiled, as she picked up Nathan and they both pointed over a stone retaining wall, poking the air with excited jabs.

River turned to the admirer following her and smiled. "We found them, hurry, come."

He didn't know where this ride was going or how long he could stay on, but he knew he was not ready to get off just yet.

.

.-

Kaylee and Simon walked hand in hand through the stone gardens and willow groves that made up the Tao Xie Park, soaking in the sun and the breeze and the carefully architected feng shi that defined this place. Simon had never been here before, but he was looking for a specific place, a gentle and comforting place. He was absolutely sure that he would need it to help him deliver the message that was laboring on his heart.

They found a place, near a babbling brook in a small grassy knoll. It made Kaylee smile, so he stopped. He pulled Kaylee down to sit next to him, as he sat. She looked somewhat perplexed at his sudden desire to sit.

"Kaylee."

"Uh huh?"

"We should talk."

A sudden pang of fear struck her heart. "Inara thinks so."

"You read my Father's letter, so you know what's been on my mind."

"Uh huh." Was all that she could muster. She had such a feeling of dread that she was having trouble containing her fear. Her hands began to shake as she struggled to breathe. He was leaving her and she didn't know how to stop it.

"We had plans, you know, how long to stay, when to settle down, all that."

Her eyes began to well as she waited for the other shoe to fall.

"Uh huh."

"Well I think we should rethink our plans."

"Oh?" She squeaked. Her mind was reeling. _Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God._

Simon took Kaylee's hand, looked into her panicked eyes and slid something on her finger. "Kaylee – will you marry me?"

She couldn't breathe. The woman's heart stopped, her jaw dropped, her eyes glazed, and she fainted dead way.

"K-Kay Kay Kay lee lee lee?" The voice echoed in her swirling head as her eyes gradually focused. She was staring up into Simon's confused face, silhouetted by the bright blue sky, when she came back to consciousness.

"Kaylee?"

"You dolt!" she yelled, her heart still pounding. "You absolute ta ma dolt."

She started to flail at Simon, about his chest and shoulders until the sun glinted off the ring on her finger. She stopped her hitting and stared at the ring, crying uncontrollably.

"What?" Simon asked, completely confused.

"Yes – you dolt. Yes."

.

.-

"Uhh .. mmm."

River pressed her body down on her hostage, as the last ecstatic gasp escaped her lips. Her head was reeling and pulse rushing, as she fell into Cayman's arms, excited, exhausted, bewildered and happier than she had ever been.

Again she had found her way to his bed, but this time no words were needed to overcome her fears. No crutch and no reservations. Simon was again on guard, though he seemed less concerned, happier. His fruitless labors yielding only a heightened sense of excitement for River as she slipped by into Cayman's module and into his bed.

The rack was small, but they clung so closely that it seemed a world of its own. Serenity sped on its way to Whitefall, heedless of their illicit tryst, but to River it was the rest of the Verse that was irrelevant. She could stay on this warm foam-padded world forever and never feel confined. Cayman lay on his back next to her, his breathing still heavy and fast, but his mind was calm, settled.

"It's hard, you know." His voice was quiet almost drown out by the sound of his breathing.

"What, Cayman?" The sound of his name played in her ears and produced a smile. River stroked his arm, tracing a fine red ridge over his shoulder and letting her hand come to rest on his chest, feeling his heart beat within. She looked up into his face as he stared thoughtfully at the ceiling. His words sounded troubled, but his face was content, almost happy.

"When everyone wants you dead. When you pray every day for just a little peace and it never comes. When you spend your whole life hiding. It makes this hard."

"It gets easier." She replied, resting her head on his chest and listening to his heart beat. "It took me awhile to believe in this place too – to believe in Serenity."

"How did you find it?"

"Luck – fate?" She said, listening intently to his chest.

"I'm not sure I believe in either." He replied. "I'm just afraid these are echoes - of unanswered prayers. I'm only seeing what I want..."

"Serenity is real. I am real."

River hugged Cayman tightly and pressed her face to his chest, listening attentively as she moved her ear over his heart. A child like smile filled her face.

"I can hear it." She sounded genuinely thrilled and excited.

"Hear what?" He responded, confused.

"Nothing." She replied, a tear crept from her eye and traced down her cheek to where her face rest on his chest. She listened to it again, there in his chest, behind the heartbeat. It didn't seem right that she should know, before he even did. But there it was, hiding inside of him and she could hardly contain her joy. Her face broke into a huge smile, as more tears filled her eyes. "Nothing."


	14. Chapter 13 Whitefall

Chapter Thirteen - Whitefall

Cayman sat in the passenger seat on the bridge, while River took Serenity into Whitefall's Atmo from the starry black. His eyes were bright and filled with wonder. He had never seen it before, as he was usually hidden away in a hold or staff quarters or, in the latest case, in a storage locker. The experience was fascinating to him, a complete surprise. What was more surprising was that the captain agreed when Cayman asked.

"I just want you to have some idea of what you're getting into." He'd said, earlier that day.

But that wasn't all he said. Mal had made a point of pulling Cayman aside an hour later for what turned out to be a man to man.

"I didn't get a chance to orient you when you took on with us in Santo." Mal started.

"I am sorry about that."

"It may not be evident to you, but there is a lot more to what goes on here than you may know."

"What exactly do you mean?"

"Just that, this is a business and sometimes that business can get – interesting out here."

"I think I understand."

"River is a part of that business." Mal continued.

"I can see." The image of River piloting the 380 ton freighter out in space was still fresh in his mind.

"What you may not be aware of is that River is not all there, she has some issues you might say."

"As do I." Cayman replied, somewhat defensively.

"But you weren't programmed as an assassin by Alliance scientists, were you?" The captain replied matter-of-factly.

"A what?" He sounded genuinely surprised and only half believed what he had heard.

"There is a lot about River you don't know."

"What are you telling me, Captain?"

"Just take it slow. Don't rush things, Son." Mal suggested. "And if things get ugly, don't get in River's way. It could make you dead."

.

.-

River met Cayman and Nathan in Inara's shuttle with a tray of food. The boy had been confined to the shuttle since they had returned from the zoo, which made the two-day journey to Whitefall excruciatingly boring for the boy. When Mal wasn't there to make sure the boy was contained, it was Cayman or River's job to keep him safe and entertained. As they set down on Whitefall, the boy was aching to get out, but River wouldn't give an inch.

"Let's go to Tiger's room." The boy suggested, looking up from his fiftieth drawing of a dragon.

"No." River snapped.

"Cayman get me more paper?"

"Don't move Cayman." River ordered, moving to the door. "He'll bolt for the door if you do."

Cayman looked at River curiously, then to the boy.

"Tiger stop!" Nathan cried. The boy picked up his toy boat and threw it at her. It flew by her ear, out the door and clattered down into the cargo hold below.

"Imp stays here." River stated this as a fact. There was no room for negotiation.

The boy slumped into a pillow and started kicking his feet. River ignored him.

"He's been cooped up here for two days." Cayman said, as he joined her at the door. "I could show him a fresh view or two."

"It won't be safe on the lower decks as long as we're on the planet." She warned. "Just be careful."

"We will." Cayman answered. "Will you?"

River reassured him with a smile. "Now you be good for Cayman." River looked directly at the little boy. "If you're not I will know."

Nathan nodded, resigned to his captivity.

"You take care. Captain says these towns are worse than Santo." He put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her close.

Pushing his hair to the side, River looked into Caymans eyes, her hand gently stroking over the lines in his face.

"Will you stay?"

"Always." He said smiling. Looking deeply into her eyes he saw only the lover he had come to know. No assassin, no tortured past, only the angel of mercy that had rescued him from a life of hiding and loneliness. "But you already knew that, didn't you?"

River stood up on tiptoe, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him full on the lips. "I'll be back for more."


	15. Chapter 14 Hick Town

Chapter Fourteen – Hick Town

Zoe stopped the mule at the top of a rise one mile north of town. The four seated craft hovered there while the captain checked his information. He didn't like going into any situation blind, no matter how legitimate it sounded. Mal pulled out a pair of digital binoculars and cased the town.

"Like Bosworth said, busy little small town. Two streets, stable down wind, lumber yard. Nice little church south of town. Looks normal enough."

"Where do we meet Bosworth, Sir?"

"Behind the lumber yard." Mal responded. "Looks like he has a crew and a truck waiting."

"You trust him?"

"No." Mal had too many run-ins with Patience on this planet to believe that this would go smoothly. "But, unless he's got the whole town in on it, I think we'll be okay in town."

"River, you got anything?" Zoe asked. "River?"

The girl was gazing back toward Serenity, two miles up the grade on a flat area, overlooking town. The ship was concealed from direct view, but River didn't need to see it. She could feel Jayne working his way up the side of the hill to his stakeout, and Simon watching from the loading ramp, and Kaylee moving the cargo into place, and Cayman drawing dragons with Nathan in the lounge. She smiled.

"River!" Mal jerked her attention back.

"What?"

"Town?" He reminded, pointing in the opposite direction.

"Oh." She refocused her attention in the direction of the small town. "I got nothing." She smiled. "Feels normal."

.

.-

Bosworth met them behind the Lumber yard near where the truck was parked. This was where the vaperator platforms were and likely where the payoff would be.

"Captain Reynolds?" The new mayor called out. "It's good to finally meet."

"Likewise." Mal took the portly man's hand and shook it vigorously.

"So where do we go to load the vaperators? I have a truck and crew to help."

"This where you're having them installed?" Mal asked, pointing to the ten empty platforms, only three seemed to be prepared for installation.

"Certainly is." The gregarious mayor laughed. "So where do we go?"

"Nowhere." Mal replied, pointing over his shoulder at his compatriots. "You stay with Zoe and River here. Toss me the keys to that truck there and I'll be back with your product. We can work payment over a beer."

"That would be just fine." Bosworth agreed, looking at Mal as if he were being unnecessarily paranoid.

"Oh – and Mayor, I'm afraid there's going to be four of these units coming. You can cover that can't you?"

"As I said in my Wave Captain, more ain't a problem. We can use as many as you got."

The Mayor pulled a set of keys from his pocket and held them for a moment.

"Captain, you wouldn't happen to have someone on your ship that can install these contraptions would you?"

"Might could help there?"

"There would be compensation."

"Toss me the keys."

Mal looked down at the keys in his hand skeptically.

"What's wrong, Sir?" Zoe asked, as she stood close to his side.

"I know that guy from somewhere?" Mal said under his breath, nodding to the man next to Bosworth.

"One of Patience's men?" She whispered.

"No." Mal pondered for a moment. "He is a pilot. Class one, small freighters, but I don't remember seeing any ships on the way in."

"Maybe he's keeping to himself." Zoe suggested. "Like us. We can't be the only ones selling here."

"Maybe." Mal agreed. "But stay alert."

"Yes, Sir."

Mal drove off in the truck leaving Zoe and River to keep Bosworth and his crew from following. If they kept this deal in town it would go down safely. So the trick was, don't let them follow Mal to where the ship was parked.

Zoe took out her rifle and settled against the mule, watching the group of men carefully. A less threatening group of backwater hick would be hard to find, but something about them still bothered her. As she pondered the feeling, a young man, maybe twenty, walked over to the women curiously and stared at River.

"Is you the one they call The White Tiger?" He asked with wide eyes.

River just rolled her eyes and sat cross-legged on the ground in front of Zoe, ignoring the man as he walked away giggling. She stretched her arms down to her knees, exposing a pair of guns beneath her short-cropped jacket. Turning her palms up slowly, she breathed in deep and they waited.


	16. Chapter 15 Kaylee’s Favorite Part

Chapter Fifteen – Kaylee's Favorite Part

Mal returned to the lumberyard with the cargo and Kaylee in tow. She wouldn't have missed this for the world, it was her favorite part. Kaylee had done this in the past and she found it remarkably rewarding, particularly in a small town like this one. The people were so appreciative and Kaylee could never get enough of helping folk in need and judging from the look of this town – these people were in desperate need of vaperators.

"Here, take this." Mal offered her a gun, as they climbed out of the truck.

"Aw, Cap'n. I won't be needed that. Won't take me but a half hour to gettem working after they're on the skids and with all this beef here helpin, I'll be headed back to Serenity in no time."

Kaylee was right about the help making things go fast. In no time at all, the four units were moved and hooked up. A small crowd of town folk had already arrived to witness the special event. This was the part that Kaylee liked the best. You throw the switch, the vaperator werrs, the water comes out and all the people cheer. It was like magic.

Only this time it was different. She threw the switch, the vaperator whirred and then the guns came out. Kaylee dropped her jaw and her wrench simultaneously. It wasn't right. That's not the way it was supposed to go. Instead of the claps and cheers of happy folk all Kaylee heard was the clack of guns preparing to shoot them.

Mal was crouched by his bag unaware of what was about to hit him. He was saying something like 'good job Kaylee' or 'that went smoother than I expected' or 'you were right, that was easy,' but the sound of her heart pounding on her eardrums drown out his exact words. Kaylee had seen enough gunfights to know the look in the gunmen's eyes, they were going to shoot him in the back. They weren't going to give him a chance. Kaylee threw herself against Mal just as the gunfire erupted, knocking them both behind an empty vaperator canister.

"What the…?"

"Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch."

Mal returned fire over the box and took down one of the assailants. The others scattered, looking for cover.

"Kaylee, you Okay?"

"Aouwww." She moaned, as she lay twisted in pain. "They shot me in the gorram ass Cap'n."

"And things looked like they were going so well." Mal chided. "Didn't expect this until it came to payment."

Gunshots rang out elsewhere in town. Mal figured Zoe and River had just received the same 'thank you very much' on their end of town. He knew what Bosworth wanted and it wasn't the vaperators. But he'd been so careful, done all the hauling himself. How'd they figure? Then it hit him.

"Zhen guai wo wei kan - they tracked the gorram truck."

The gunmen worked their way to the right and left as Mal tried to figure a way out of this mess. The Mayor barked out orders to his men.

"John, Deek, get up on the roof. Kal, Tommy, come with me." Bosworth said. "You four get going. We can handle this. Just get me that ship."

"Sounds like the whole damn town's in on it." Mal muttered. "This place never changes."

"Did you hear that, Cap'n,? They're gonna take Serenity?" Kaylee winced as she struggled to her knees. They might just as well have been stealing her child. "Gimme that gun."

.

.-

Zoe and River left the General store happily chatting; each with two arms full of what Zoe called real food. Zoe took in a deep breath of fresh dry air and let it out slowly, feeling the warm of the sun on her face. It had been the first time in a long time that Zoe had actually felt normal, alive. She'd been held up in Serenity for too long, just doing her job, tending to their cargo, attending to the ship and mourning her past in the silent solitude of her isolated sanctuary. But today had been a return to the mundane world of just ordinary folk. A town full of normal people doing normal things. She'd actually had fun with River, shopping for groceries. It was almost made her feel 'normal.'

The first indication that there was anything wrong was that the storeowner shut up the doors and shutters behind them as they stepped out on the boardwalk outside the store. The next was the general emptiness of the streets, no kids laughing, no women bustling, no wagons hauling. The two visitors looked at each other, both having the same bad feeling at the same time. Something had gone wrong in this town and it appeared to be focused on them.

The general store was at the center crossroads of town. The now empty streets left them four directions from which to choose. But there was no choice. A group of five gunmen were standing to the north, another four to the south, all with weapons drawn. East and west looked to be much the same. There was no place to go, no escape from whatever these men had in mind.

"This doesn't look good." Zoe said.

They stood for a moment in silence, at the bottom of the wooden steps outside the store. The dry wind played with their loose curls, as both women realized what was about to happen. No one made a move, all of them frozen in the moment.

"They are waiting for a signal before they kill us." River told the warrior beside her calmly, then she thought. _Lemonade, clouds, 1010111111000001_. She smiled. "We shouldn't wait."

River dropped her bags, pulling the two guns from under her jacket. She put down two straight ahead and one to the right. Grabbing the rifle from her side, Zoe rolled to her left and took three of the five to the north. River spun and ran zigzag to the south, both guns blaring while Zoe stood and calmly took the other two. Ten were down before the first return shots were even managed. Three seconds later the remaining eight assailants were down and Zoe was on her back pulling a slug form the armor under her vest. River helped her back to her feet.

"Always stings more than I expect." Zoe said, dropping the slug to the ground. "Looks like the captain was right."

Gunfire was still banging from the east, back by the lumberyard. Zoe shot a threatening glare back at the store owner as he peeked out through the slats of his shutters. He quickly disappeared. The fight was not over yet. As the two turned toward the yard, their mule came out from the alley with four strangers in it. The hovercraft turned east and headed away, toward Serenity.

"Captain." Zoe told River, as she headed to the yard.

"Serenity." River replied, taking off at a dead run after the mule.

.

.-

Cayman stood next to Simon, holding Nathan in his arms and looking out on the dry Whitefall foothills. Both of them needed to get out of Serenity, if only for a minute or two. Simon was just as happy that they had joined him, as he was growing tired of worrying by himself.

From the edge of the plateau, they could see the town at the base of the hill, some three miles from the ship, as the crow flies. Nothing about the scene was especially concerning to them but a series of popping noises had attracted their attention to the town and now they were both worried.

A plume of steam rose from behind a larger set of buildings to the east of town, indicating that Kaylee had succeeded in her efforts to set up the machines. It was right about now that the town folk should be celebrating. Like most of these frontier moons and planets, celebration usually involved some quantity of gunfire. Still, it made him worry.

As the two looked down toward town a speeder started up the road in Serenity's direction. It was smaller than the truck Mal had returned in, the one that took the vaperators and Kaylee to town. It was the size of their mule.

"Is that them?" Cayman asked hopefully. "Are they coming home?"

"No." Simon answered, his voice carrying a somewhat ominous tone. "I got a bad feeling about this."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know, but you and Nathan get up to Inara's shuttle and lock yourselves in there. Don't come out until I tell you - understand?"


	17. Chapter 16 Hijacked

Chapter Sixteen – Hijacked

The gunfire stirred Jayne from his nest of high grass on the hilltop. He held a half eaten sandwich in his left hand and his field glasses in the right. Taking another bite of his sandwich, he watched as the mule left town and headed up the dirt pack road. It turned up the hill trailing a plume of dust, as it headed toward the rock flat below him, where Serenity was docked.

"It's about damn time." He muttered, as he collected Vera, his favorite 12 gauge, his water bottle and the remainder of his lunch.

Jayne started down the hill as the hover craft crested the first rise and sped along the flat toward the last bend and the waiting ship. Jayne was about half way down when something caught his eye. Scrunching up his face as he squinted hard at the road behind, he spotted a runner following behind the mule about a mile back. It looked like a demon possessed running with complete abandon. Jayne quickly grabbed his field glasses sensing that he'd just made a big mistake. He didn't need them to know that the trailer was River. It was the Mule he needed a better look at.

"Zhai ma." He cursed, as four unfamiliar men climbed out of the mule in front of Serenity. "This ain't good."

.

.-

Simon looked at the shotgun propped up against the airlock door, then let his eyes fall to the medical bag on the deck next to it. He didn't relish the prospect of using either, but with the mule speeding to a halt and four strangers jumping out, he was sure he'd be using one or the other really soon.

"You the doctor?" The lead man asked.

"Yes." He answered lifting the shotgun and baring the entrance to Serenity.

"Well you'd best be getting that bag of yorn. One of your folk been hurt and we ain't got but a Vet in town."

Simon looked at the four of them skeptically. The three that climbed out of the small hover craft all had rifles in hand and the driver had his next to him on the seat.

"Clem and Jim can stay here and look after your ship. You can come with me and Ezek back to town."

"What happened? Who got hurt?" Simon reached for the med-bag, keeping the shotgun in hand. He didn't like the feel of this at all.

"The little one in the overalls." The leader replied ascending the ramp about half way and stopping. "She got herself shot."

Just as Simon lifted his bag from the deck, a bullet blasted through the head of the driver and the mule sank to the ground. Simon dropped the bag and pulled up the gun, but not fast enough. The leader of the remaining three swatted him across the head with the butt of his rifle, sending him stunned to the deck. A second shot skimmed off the side of the ship, missing the leader by inches, while the other two returned fire up the hill.

"Get up here before yer all worm food you fools." The leader was headed for the bridge, muttering to himself, while Clem and Jim ducked inside the airlock. There wasn't supposed to be but the five in the crew. Where was the gunfire coming from? Someone messed up.

.

.-

River stumbled, falling to the dirt road, exhausted. She clenched the stitch in her side and forced herself up. The last set of gunshots had come from ahead, from Serenity. The bushwhackers had reached their goal. _Was she too late_? Scrambling to her feet, she turned the last bend and jogged the remaining hundred yards holding her side. A bullet sped by her ear with a rip of air. She ducked behind the mule, as a second skimmed of the back seat. A shot from the hillside sent a bullet glancing off the ramp and ricocheting into the cargo bay beyond. The two hijackers ducked for cover.

_Jayne_. She thought.

While River caught her breath, Serenity's engines stirred to life. _Do that again Jayne_, she thought, _do that again_. The girl pulled out both guns, closed her eyes and prepared to pounce.

Just as before, Jayne's shot ricocheted off the ramp and into the bay behind. The two gunmen ducked. River sprang from her cover and charged up the ramp, both guns firing. She dove through the hatch completely horizontal in the air, as the two defenders returned fire. Curl, tumble, twist and fire. Both men slumped to the floor.

"Simon? Simon!" She shook her brother until he groaned. _He was_ _Okay_.

Serenity's engines started to spin up as River charged up the stairs. Just as quickly, they suddenly stopped; sending Serenity to the ground with a thud and sending River sprawled on the gangway. She reached out. _Imp is scared, Simon hurts, stranger is angry, Cayman is… _A single shot shattered the silence. River could feel the bullet rip through his chest as if it had been her own. Her heart stopped.

"Cayman!"

She dashed to the bridge, flopping from wall to wall, stumbling up the stair, consumed with his pain. Her head was spinning and her eyes blurred with tears. Cayman's crumpled body lay at the top, just outside the open Bridge hatch. River dropped to his side scooping up his limp body, as Serenity's engines started to spin up again.

"No, no. Don't die – please don't die."

She heard the click of the rifle as the cartridge entered the chamber and felt the barrel leveled on her head. River didn't turn from her fallen lover, her arm and hand worked completely on their own. Four shots raked through the hijacker's body, before the gun fell from her hand and she wrapped it around Cayman, cradling him, rocking him.

"I stopped him. I…" Cayman's eyes closed.

Jayne turned the corner, Vera held in front of him at the ready. He stopped, seeing he was too late and let his weapon fall to his side. Simon staggered to his side, as Jayne shook his head sadly.

"Don't go. You said you would stay. Always." River cried as she rocked him gently. "I don't know how to get there yet. You can't go. You can't."


	18. Chapter 17 Sunset

Chapter Seventeen - Sunset

Simon looked at the captain and answered the question that was lurking behind his stone expression.

"Maybe if we were near a facility, Osiris, Ariel, even Persephone, but out here."

"How long's he got?"

Simon stitched up the wound on Mal's arm as he pondered the question. Mal had put down two, Kaylee one from the roof and Zoe three from behind, before the Mayor gave up. But not before Mal had taken a bullet to the arm.

"Maybe an hour - two."

The captain hated losing those that he counted as crew. For some it didn't take long to be counted in that category. Cayman, had been faster than most.

"Does River know?" Kaylee asked, holding a compression pack on her exposed butt as she lay belly down on the other infirmary bed.

"Yes." Simon answered, looking down at his hands, clearly disappointed with them. "I think she's out front."

"Probably best to leaving her be." Mal offered.

Simon moved over to Cayman, mopping sweat from his unconscious brow. "I wish there was something more I could do."

"It just ain't fair, Cap'n." Kaylee cried. "It ain't."

.

.-

River stood on the ramp watching the sun setting on the Whitefall horizon. The ache in her gut was so consuming she could hardly stand. Zoe walked up next to River. She hadn't even felt her coming.

"You going to be alright." Zoe asked.

"He's not going to make it." Her voice was hollow, empty.

"I know."

"I don't think I can do this." River clenched her sides, as if the pain were going to burst out of her. "How did you – do this?"

"If I could have kept him here I would have. If I could have gone with him, I would have." Zoe reflected. "But I wasn't ready to go and he couldn't stay. It got dark for a while, real dark. Still is sometimes, but I get by."

"Is that all you can do?"

"For now." She replied. "I just wish to God that I was ready when his time came."

They stood in silence until the last gleam of the sun dipped out of sight, dying out like a spent ember.

Zoe turned the girl and looked her directly in the eyes. "Are you ready?"

River swallowed hard. "I think so."

Zoe went down the checklist as best as she could remember.

"Do you hate?"

"No."

"Do you want?"

"Only him."

"Do you need?"

"Nothing. Everything."

"Then take him with you, while you still have him. Don't wait until it is too late. Take him there."

"Chen di tao xu?"

"Yes."

River looked deep into Zoe's eyes. Zoe understood this place maybe even better that she did. There was joy there, but you had to bring it with you. She was never whole before, not by herself and Zoe understood that. The first time there was only doubt, with Donovan there was only pain, but with him - with Cayman she was whole. With him there was no empty. She could bring him there without doubt, without pain, without sorrow. They could be complete, they could be nothing and they could be everything.

River kissed Zoe on the cheek sadly and returned to ship, leaving the warrior staring at the fading light of dusk. The bright orange sky slowly burnt out into a dull mauve. After a minute or two Mal walked up beside her. He could still feel the spot on his cheek where she'd kissed him.

"Where'd Jayne go?" He said, looking back into Serenity, as if he'd just figured something out.

"To exact retribution."

"River?" He asked, touching his cheek absently.

"Gone."

"She ain't coming back this time, is she?"

"No sir, I don't think so."

"Funny how things turn out." He said shaking his head. They both felt the same empty.

"We gotta stop coming here, Sir." Zoe stared blankly at the dying light of dusk. "It ain't worth the pain."


	19. Epilogue Chen Di Tao Xu

Epilog – Chen Di Tao Xu

The boy wiped the sweat from his brow after pushing the last heavy creates into place at the back of the cargo hold. His muscles ached and his stomach grumbled but he was happy for the work. This was so much better than sitting around at a counter in the First Lotus Bank. With no more crates to push, he was done. Captain Wash promised to teach him how to take her out of Atmo and he was more than ready.

The teen decided on a short rest before heading up to the bridge. The challenge of his first ascent demanded he be relaxed and at least somewhat rested. Something on the floor, behind this last box, caught his eye, as he knelt by the crates. He fell to the floor, sitting with his back against the last of the crates and picked up the small toy boat that hid in behind.

"Now how'd this get here?" He wondered.

For some reason it felt good in his hand, like it was his, but for the life of him he didn't remember it. He sat for a minute trying to figure how it had gotten there. It was no use. Picking him self up from the deck, he made his way to the bridge, turning the toy in his hand and searching his memory. He dropped into the copilot's chair beside Zoe and placed the little ship atop the console.

"You ready, Imp?"

"I surely am." He replied with bright-eyed expectation.

"See that blue lever – pull it down about half way." The captain instructed. "and turn that red knob to about 5."

"Done."

"Pull back easy and give it some throttle, you'll feel her spin up."

"Woe."

"Keep it steady. Don't let her shake you."

For his first try, things went unusually well. Zoe took over in the cobalt blue of high Atmo and brought Serenity out to the black. She settled back in her chair when her embarkation checklist was complete.

"That's all there is to it." She said in a satisfied tone.

Nathan looked up at the little boat on the consol. "Captain Wash?"

"Nathan?"

"What ever happened to - Tiger?" The name came to him almost spontaneously, as if his tongue had remembered what he had forgotten.

Zoe looked at the boy for a moment, wondering what had brought this on. She hadn't though of River lately, but she did ponder on this question from time to time. She'd have been back by now, if she wanted. No – this time it was River that didn't want to let go, this time she was happy.

"Oh - she's still here." Zoe replied, looking at the star filled black. "Chen di tao xu."

They were silent for a minute or so.

"Nathan. Take us home."

"Yes, Sir."

The End

Together we shall go to the place of the great nothingness


End file.
